Ruse

All you do is win them over and make them understand

That everything you do isn’t for you, but really just for them

Sit in awe while you work, they might call it magic

You’ll never stop, and intentionally make life more tragic

And life is bliss to those around you, from every ounce you give

But none of them know the tragedy in which you live

You cover it up by making other people happy

Take the spotlight off your problems, can’t you see?

Why do you continue to wear out your insides?

If everyone else is happy, does it allow you to finally hide?

Do you think that if you give answers they won’t ask questions?

How long can you mask it all with good intentions?

Eventually it will kill you, all the pent up bullshit

And those who you choose to indulge will eventually see it

But nobody really knows that behind the generous exterior

There lies a crippled soul, in a wisp of an interior

And from what exactly stems your untold depression?

None of us even know, because you won’t let us in.

With A Kiss

It started with a kiss that insisted be done

It persisted until two hearts soon beat as one

Too wonderful to let go, no words to express

Pressed against each other, just caress…



Neither saw it coming, and there lied the beauty

Beautiful and stunning, to last for eternity

Seemingly untouched, forever high above

Never waking from the dream, lost in true love…



Heaven was near, but clouds are weak

Clouded by delusion, the romance peaked

Fell through the air and caught the rain

Hit the ground that was Earth and felt real pain…



Crawled out of the rubble to finally see

Rubbed your eyes of the dust, alone to be

Learned to live again, love again, and exist

And again it started, it started with a kiss…

Contradiction

I wish I could explain myself,

But I’m most certainly uncertain

I’ve got all the answers in me

Just wish I could ascertain them

It makes me that introverted extrovert

The kind that says what he’s not thinking

I want company to calm my fears

But despise it when it appears

Don’t ask me to pick a side

They both look good to me

For even if I was over there,

Here is where I’d also want to be

I don’t like any one feeling

I can love you and hate you too

I know exactly what you’re thinking

But I also only think I do

My only friend is doubt

And he’s undoubtedly my enemy

I’d find somebody else

But I don’t trust that they’d trust me

I’m fighting a cognitive dissonance

I’m pulled in two directions at once

I’m fighting on all fronts

And I think I’m almost done for

...I'm Fine...

Seasick in an ocean, waiting for a lifeboat

…last hope…

Writing just to stay alive, trying to stay afloat

…don’t choke…

Back the tears up that fill the sea I’m drowning in

…can’t swim…

Sink to the bottom and let it all in

…lights dim…

Fight for attention, though I’m the only one here

…no fear…

Lights, camera, distraction, but you’re still here

…disappear…

Try to hide the worry and all the self-doubt

…try it out…

Sink to the bottom and let it all out

…just shout…

Kicked around long enough, wish life would be kind

…rewind…

It’s easier for me to just say, that

…I’m fine…