The Warring Heart of A Fool

I'm a fool for you, or maybe it was only yesterday

I don't do what I'm supposed to and that's why I don't get my way

I shouldn't have picked up, but then I really wanted to

I didn't leave, I ran away, and it was all to forget you

I'd say about sixty precent of what I write pertains to you

And whether I like it or not, the rest does too

So do the math, and realize where it is you fit into

I didn't leave, I ran away, and it was all to forget you

Ask me no questions, and let me hear those cries,

This war will never be over until one of us dies

I speak the evil, only when I don't hear it's call

And when I can't hear it, I sit back and watch it all

I can't quite tell what I am supposed to do

I didn't leave, I ran away, and it was all to forget you

So this is what you want from me? A pitiful mess?

Well this is what I'll give to you, I must confess:

A man who wants nothing, except simply you

I didn't leave, I ran away, and it was all to forget you

Tell me no lies, and stop planing my demise

This war will never be over until the love dies

So put ten seconds on the clock, and watch it countdown

And in that time I'll debate if you're worth having around

Lost and found, they all walk two by two

I didn't leave, I ran away, and it was all to forget you

I'm a fool for you, or maybe it was only yesterday

And if you ask me about all of this, I won't know what to say

I shouldn't have picked up, but then I really wanted to

I didn't leave, I ran away, and it was all to forget you

Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies

This war will never be over until neither of us tries

Keep It Together

In a moment of weakness he picked up the phone

Went through the contacts, found her number and listened to that tone

She picked up on the third and said, "Hello?"

And in a moment of weakness he said, "I'm so alone..."

In a moment of anger she hung up on me

She counted to ten, said "Never again..." and then took pity

She picked up the phone and called just to see

And in a moment of sympathy, she started talking to me

"You can't do this!" she said

"You must wake up!"

"Put down the phone, pick up your pride,

And please just stop!"

In a moment of desperation he pleaded his case

Spilled out reasons, thought of answers, all to try and save face

She listened, out of respect, but soon felt the need to erase

And in a moment of fury, she turned on him and changed pace

"You can't do this!" she shouted

"You must wake up!"

"Let my heart go, don't try anymore,

And please wake up!"

In a moment of confusion her voice was lost

And while he tried to get it back, whatever the cost

She was gone and he wished they'd never crossed

And in a moment of confusion, from his sleep he was tossed

In a moment of understanding, I awoke this morning

Brushed my eyes of surprise, and forgot the previous scorning

But I go forth, after unnecessary mourning

And in a moment of serenity, I tell you: "Heed my warning,

You'll only be crushed

If you don't keep it together

When she doesn't want you

As much as you want her... "

Standing Still

His best ideas come while on the go

But while standing still he just didn't know

True inspiration, to him, was priceless

As for the truth of his actions? He would not confess...

And he'd invite her over simply to sleep

No sexual agenda did he try to reap

So long as his dreams, she allowed him to keep

He, in her quiet company, did sleep

And when he awoke he took in only her gaze

Then fell back to sleep and woke up in present days

Where the mornings were clear but the romance was dead

And all of the above existed only in his head...

He'd get dressed, attend to business, come and go

But when he'd stand still he just didn't know

In the emptiness between here and there

He couldn't afford to keep turning a square

So he went along happily with the rest of the world

And each girl he passed became just another girl

He found excitement in the smallest of things

But couldn't find his angel, the kind without wings

And when he fell asleep he took in the day

Then drifted into his dreams, and flew away

Away to a place where the romance was alive

And his happiness wasn't falsely contrived

Awaking the next day, day after day

He dulled the pain with music and went on his way

Seeped in through the ears, but went straight to the soul

But when he stood still he couldn't find his goal

Always on the move so that he couldn't be caught

Always dodging the questions that pertained to naught

He got a leg up on the competition with out-stretched arms

Physically unscathed, but permeable to deeper harms

All in all, he was human, and no one outgoing

But when he stood still he had no way of knowing

The magic was fantasy; the chemistry had gone awry

And all in all, he was still just the umpteenth to try

He knew all the wrong people, but all the right places

Had just enough screws loose, but couldn't put names to faces

He woke up early, so that he could stay up late

He believed in freewill, but also in fate

He lived every day like it was his first

And drank up new information with unending thirst

He talked to God, but usually to curse Him

And other than that, he believed they were friends

In the silence he'd imagine some friends for fun

And they'd laugh until his daydream was done

He'd stand up, look around, and decide where to go

But while standing still he just didn't know

He's the kind of person you don't read about in books

But he is one who gets a lot of second looks

His story goes on though, and so does he

And it you don't know by now, he, is ...

Radio Tunes

…Turn the keys

Sit for a while

Look in the mirrors

And try to smile…

The radio tunes out to static

And into my head fades the sound

Of rubber hitting the asphalt

Of a burdening life all around

I know that you’ll never understand

And that’s the reason I keep writing

A ghost of the truth still remains

But most of me is still lying

If they know not what they do

Then that’s the reason they continue

If they know exactly what they do

Then it’s a feeling long overdue

Stay right where you are

And I won’t stray from where I am

Please God just don’t disappear

And let me believe this isn’t a sham

Forgive me because I know you can

Forgive me because I don’t deserve it

Please just let me rest at ease

And let me forget all this bullshit

Please don’t go looking for answers

In the words I write in exhaust

The words you read won’t be mine

And the truth of my mind has been lost

The radio tunes into music

And into my head fades the sound

Of something we can’t comprehend

Of a loss we can feel all around

…Turn the keys

Sit for a while

Look at yourself

And try to smile…