Comeback

Lost it? Can't find it.
Wondering where that part of my mind is
You wrote; now you quote
Originality locked in complexity
A story for someone
That I can't seem to get done
A past life, I lived
To get it back; what I wouldn't give
If depression was its food
I'd say goodbye for good
If loneliness was its fire
I'd happily leave that desire
Which emotion caused a spark?
What no leaves me in the dark?
I am happy.  I am content.
Is that what caused its end?
Creativity running dry
And all I can ask is why?
Is it me? Have I changed?
Is my lack of effort to be blamed?
Is it okay? Is it for the best?
Is it all just a part of my past?
I'm in love.  I'm no longer searching
Still, the desire to write is lurking...

Nostalgia

Sit back. Relax. And imagine it's raining...
Another day in and a day's worth of complaining
From you, from them, all to no end
From side to side from the middle and then...

Everything and everyone shouts, all at once
Feigned  intelligence while wearing caps that say "DUNCE"
Lean to the left, lean to the right
Stuck in the middle and itchin' for a fight

When there's wisdom in comedy
When there's dispute among classes
When there's nostalgia in brutality
It's no wonder there's unrest in the masses

Sit back. Relax. And imagine there's sun
And we're all back in primary education
From you, from them, knowing absolutely nothing
Snotty hand holding snotty hand but knowing one thing...

That in this moment we haven't a care
And life is just a game of truth or dare
Elaborate fortunes were told on paper 
And circles and dots could prevent what was in the air

When there are adults who haven't grown up
When the monsters have come out from under the bed
When what we've stomached is something we should've thrown up
It's no wonder we're all lost in our own heads

Sit back. Relax. And imagine it's snowing
And we're no longer concerned if our hearts are showing
From you, to them, then repeat again and again
Until you can look into their eyes and see that they're glowing

Entitled

Necks made of rubber, with no moral glue

Blind to opportunity and what they continue to do

Don’t feed the animals; just tap on the glass

Don’t make a difference or get off their a___

The fans don’t spin they’re just blocked with s___

And they’re too busy to deal with it

They keep looking forward through rose-colored shades

Never believing life’s a bitch and one day they’ll fade

Bull S___. More S___. Piled Higher and Deeper

All to earn a degree as a certified sleeper

Sworn to secrecy. But still speaking evil

Watch the trash pick at the trash like a bunch of hungry seagulls

They turned their backs and said goodbye

But still expect answers when they ask why

Seemingly entitled to the bitter bloody end

And they wonder why they can’t find friends

A hope and a life created by those before

Disregarded, forgotten and thrown on the floor

Currently unde-serving three hundred million plus

Self-satisfied amnesiacs who’ll never get enough

Presently forgetting those who worked to get them here

And the spirit that was lost; to simply persevere

The foundation layers will die soon, it’s only a matter of when

And the entitled will look nostalgically at “back then”

They’ll sink into smug despair questioning how things went awry

Never admitting to their entitled neglect until the day they die…

Leon's Diary IV

8/24/20XX

The treatment continues and I’m being told it’s a great success.  Every day I inform my friends of all the many things I’m remembering and they say that at this rate I’ll have every bit of my memory back in the next week.  They have even told me that with all of my memories returned and my mental faculties back to normal I will be able to leave the Castle with a clean bill of health.  I thought I was healthy enough already, but apparently this was not the case. 

I remembered today back to the day I was first brought to this Castle.  There was overcast on the cliffs where the Castle was perched, and I was walked up by two strong friends of mine.  They both had a tight grip on me so that I wouldn’t hurt myself.  Apparently back then I was a bit wild, but it was all in good fun.  The doors to the Castle were so big and when they opened there was so much noise from the inside.  Cheers from the inhabitants over my arrival, voices across the PA exclaiming the grand arrival of myself, and a host of other noises that I assume were in celebration of me!!  There were also a bunch of lights moving and dancing across the sky.  Then the lights were directed at me because I was the main event!!  The walls around the Castle were also lit up as well.  They flickered and dances with an electric blue that was captivating. My first night there I was led to my bedroom where my new best friend was waiting.  Seeing April for the first time lying comfortably on my new bed made me imagine that she was some sort of queen-of-the-bed.  I felt a bit bad removing her from her throne, but she had to move for me to sleep.  It was such a happy memory really; back when April wasn’t handicapped. 

I can also remember further back, before I came to the Castle.  The memories aren’t as clear yet, but I know they will return in time.  There are images that don’t make sense to me.  I remember a man, my father maybe, standing holding my hand as a child.  We were on a beach and we were looking out at the ocean.  The words “…remember…” and “…gift…” were said at some point, but like a dream I can’t piece it together that well.  The sun was setting and we turned around to return to our house further inland from the shore, but then the memory is gone in an instant.  I’ve been told by my friends to concentrate really hard and remember what was said, but it’s difficult.  My friends are now trying to speed things along with my treatment though, and have upped my dose of Futroculilinulm.  Such an odd name really for a drug, but I guess nowadays they’re getting that way so I don’t question it.  I’m very much excited to help out my friends in any way possible, and so I gladly take my medicine. 

April has been rather quiet lately, and I think it has something to do with my comments about her weight recently.  Apparently, she tells me, a thin teddy bear is not attractive, and that I really don’t know what I’m talking about because I’m not a teddy bear.  A valid point, but I told her any teddy bear would be more than happy to be with her.  Then she wiggled her one leg and it became clear to me what her real issue is.  With that said I asked my friends here if they might be able to fix her up and give her a new leg and they most certainly did!! April is now the sexiest teddy bear in the Castle and I doubt she could be happier.  Her new leg is a bit different from her other leg, but I’m not going to say anything because she’s already so self-conscious as it is. 

With all that said, I think I’ll call it a day.  I have a big day tomorrow what with the increased treatment program, so I might be away from this log for a few days.  I’ll return soon though, so don’t worry. 

Goodnight.

 

“4.14.20xx

…patient #426 is portraying signs of classic multiple personality disorder as well as schizophrenic tendencies.  The “monsters” that she is “communing” with are very much controlling her, and we have seen them in full form for a brief instant while using the Phrenix Pulse Manipulator…

           

            4.18.20xx

…I am under the strong belief that increasing the impulse kickback field by 20% will result in full physical beings in our world…

…patient #426 will most likely be consumed in the process of human energy transformation, but the beings will most certainly become present, and patient #426 is of no concern to us…”   

 

“5.25.20xx

… I have taken a shine to patient #884 “Leon”.  His perceptions of reality in the drug induced coma are most interesting.  The current medication has shown mixed results.  We were hoping to pull his visions of the future from his body entirely and utilize them for further research, but there has been little luck so far. 

On the upside, Leon has come down with amnesia (probably a side effect of the current drugs) and has no memory of anything outside of the current day.   This convenient side effect has made him very suggestible and easy to manipulate. 

We have given him a log and directed him to write.  We are hoping this will inform us of any developments in his condition…

           

            6.20.20xx

…It would appear that Leon is only seeing his own death in his future visions at the moment. The drugs are keeping these visions peaceful enough which is good, as another psychotic patient is not what we need around here.  Patient #426’s bad reaction to the procedure was most unpleasant.  She threw a fit and ended up trying to mutilate her own appendages.  We stopped her before she got too far along, but we must start putting procedures in place to safeguard ourselves from them…

…the plan is to start Leon on Futroculilinulm in the hopes that the future visions will become more inclusive and more tangible.  More tangible visions will allow easier capture of any and all subsequent visions…

…the drug works like an antibody would, but it’s tailor made for binding to thoughts and memories specifically.  The “antibody” attaches itself to a memory that is perceived to be of an age we select.  In this case, we’re trying to look into the future in which case the age must be older than patient #884. 

…after triggering the regions of foresight in the brain and releasing the memories, the “antibodies” attach and basically solidify the memory into a material that can be easily extracted and stored…

            8.15.20xx

…It has been decided that Leon’s dosing will be upped.  This will ensure a full extraction of all future sights. Given the reaction of patient #653 it is unlikely that Leon will survive the upped dosage but there is a small chance, seeing as what happened with patient #654.  His reaction was most violent, and proved to be uncontrollable.  While unable to contain him he did meet is end eventually.  It is most fortunate for us, and highly unlikely that he survived the fall from the grand room window…