Nothing Left To Say...

Slaloming through street signs past a “No right turn”

But I’m going forward so it’s not my concern

Finally to a point where I’m able to discern

That holding a flame doesn’t mean I have to get burned

Just wanted to punch through a flawless mirror

Shattered bones and glass, but at least it’d be clear

Clear that I’m flattered to be no longer standing here

Waiting for you to come and sweep up my fear

Drove my car off the road, or so I was told

The heat of my mistakes kept me warm in the cold

I don’t want to forget them when I grow old

Don’t want to whiteout what ought to be bold

So what if nothing happens? I’ve still got a story

Yes or no, there’s no reason to worry

A shooting star that I missed, went away in a hurry

Her glow keeps me chasing, though my vision is blurry

Stood up for sitting down, then rested my eyes

Noticed she was looking back; a welcome surprise

This damn repetition will be my ultimate demise

And she ought to know that I no longer want to disguise

Disguise, mask, and overlook that undermining thought

The one telling me I am what I’m pretty sure I’m not

It’s just a bunch of name calling, between the kettle and the pot

And I can’t help that she’s got me bothered and hot

That last post was a visit from an intoxicated me

Up awake writing at a half past three

Tired of the things that I can’t do as me

Convinced by the booze that it’ll never be

The stars couldn’t tell me that she saw my way

And the wind could drum up a perfect day

But that night when I left, there was a sense of dismay

And since then I’m still finding the words I’m trying to say

To those looking up: I’m taking a breather

The words aren’t coming like they used to either

I’m not feeling depressed? I’ve lost my leisure?

It could be both; it could be neither.

One day soon you’ll all know what’s true

And I might return to comment on what I went through

In the meantime I’ve appreciated the readers, albeit a few

It’s time to move on though, and so I bid you adieu… 

The Same Old Story

Back here again, to sip that familiar friend

You’ll misinterpret the meaning

Down here again, and I guess I’m at an end

You’ll think this is all self-defeating

I’ll start by saying I’m nowhere

And I’ll finish by saying I’m sliding

I know what it is that makes me care

But I still remain in hiding

I just wanted something to happen

But failed to motivate myself

I can’t seem to find it again

And I’m far beyond the point of help

Is it too much to ask for things to go right?

Or right enough for her to understand?

It’s too late to get that kiss goodnight

When nothing ever goes as I planned

I didn’t even plan it though

It just happened by sheer will

I wanted her, but watched her go

And I’m now left with regret to kill

So I’m drinking it in, and going for a swim

But I’m so close to drowning here

I’ll cover it up until I burst at the seams

You’ll ask but I won’t make it clear

A soundtrack to my life

That only repeats a bunch of love songs

The only one I still find interesting

Can’t convince me that she longs

I’m done, I’m done, I’m done!

But then again there’s still life in this masochist

Still convinced that you’re the one

Even though we’ve never kissed

Back here again, with the same to say

Repeat the same story while lacking finesse

But they’ll still be happy all the same

Because a story is a story… I guess…

Lore

I saw something last night I’ve never seen before

Witnessed events only referenced in lore

The eyes of a seductress piercing through my skin

And I bled out on the floor, and watched her go in

Filled up my veins and coursed straight to my heart

Beats were skipped at a potential new start

I lay there unconscious, I must have been dreaming

As she flowed past my heart with a force that was teaming

She entered my head and made herself a comfortable place

Made sure if I didn’t have her, I’d at least remember her face

She swirled around in my brain, attacking my senses

I continued losing pints while she assailed my defenses

Lying on the floor, the room going black

I knew at this point there was no going back

I struggled a bit with the hopes of keeping my norms

But her intriguing nature found me in swarms

It pinned me down and danced circles around my ears

Helpless to move, but with no abundance of fears

A part of me was fighting. Dying? Maturing?

As my eyes closed and I prayed that this might be a sure thing

Completely devoid of the self I used to know

I laid back and made peace with the way things needed to go

The lights disappeared, and time grew short

And my body was unwilling to find a way to retort

But in that moment, a bright light appeared

A warmth surrounded me and quelled what I feared

I was coming back to life, but not the life I new before

A looming security that insured peace filled my core

My eyes started to open; where I was I did not know

But a feeling grabbed my limbs and wouldn’t let go

I looked up to see her face, in a sea of mediocrity

All voices but hers faded, as she only spoke to me

I listened in a daze, and about everything, I was unsure

Uneasily, I remain confident, because I know that I want her…

I am...

I am here to tell you I am

I am here on life’s whim

I am here to do remarkable things

I am here to do absolutely nothing

I am 6 foot 10 and have a twin brother

I am from Minnesota but came to Cali. to discover

I am always in love with the one who loves another

I am only myself, and no other

I am constantly laughing at jokes only I get

I am constantly trying my best to forget

I am not one for risk, and not one to bet

I am more in love with the women I haven’t met

Half-way to being hammered

Nine inches from being nailed

Dead winds and no oars

Make me wonder how I’ve sailed

I am a musician and a writer

I am a not a full-fledged fighter

I am a listener and an observer

I am a half-assed part-time server

I am not opposed to taking mental days

I am not too dead set in my ways

I am looking for that _____-haired girl

I am trying to travel around the world

I am cocky to the point when I don’t want to be

I am pretty sure that I am presently me

I am educated, but often feel dumb

I am friend to more than just some

Half-way to being hammered

Nine inches from being nailed

Lazy lakes and listless laments

Make me wonder how I haven’t failed

I am of the notion there’s something big at play

I am one for words and yet don’t always know what to say

I am generally falling for the ones I can’t have

I am longing for things I know won’t last

I am not a fan of DBG

I am outgoing, but don’t want people to see

I am home to thoughts I can’t express

I am still searching for that beautiful mess

I am writing to tell you I am here

I am writing without regret or fear

I am writing because I know you’ll never see

I am writing because it calms me

Nine inches from being nailed

Half-way to being hammered

I am hoping you’ll soon see

That over you, I’m positively enamored