Monday, December 14, 2009

Conditional

Hate me, berate me

But don’t commiserate, see

I can’t understand your disrespect

And excuse me if I came to expect

A level of respect from you

But then again what else is new?

And we cat and mouse

Because you say I do it too

Call me stupid

I just don’t care

And you can leave anytime

I just don’t need you there

Can I ask you a question?

Can I tell you an answer?

Where exactly is your position?

And why do you call me sir?

When it’s clear I don’t deserve it

I simply show up and pay for shit

I just don’t know where I’m going

Life just doesn’t make sense

And all the things that you’re doing

Are making me want

I can’t tell what you want

And you can’t see why

I would tell you what’s wrong

If I could understand our lives


If it was clear

I wouldn’t need you here

If I wasn’t so down

I wouldn’t need you around

If I’m happy

I don’t need you

If I’m happy

I don’t see you


I see you, I want you

And you call me foolish

Swish and spit

That taste off your tongue

And I’m convinced
That she’s not the one

Not done, not fun,

Give me a run

For my money

Or for the hillsides

And it tastes like burning

On my insides

I dream you

I escape through

To the illusions of reality

And I’d like to believe

That if I can see you

You can see me

But such is life

And isn’t that nice

You’re walking right by

Without ever looking twice


If it was clear

I wouldn’t need you here

If I wasn’t so down

I wouldn’t need you around

If I’m happy

I don’t see you

If I’m happy

I don’t need you


Need you, want to

Do things I shouldn’t do

Too many excuses

For continuing abuses

Bruised, battered and messed up

Shaken, baked and fucked up

Running around in circles

Trying to find the world

And if the planets align

Maybe I’ll feel fine

Take what’s mine

And pay you no mind

Driving, riding

A horse that won’t stop bucking

And I wish I could end this fucking

Intense nonsense

That comes when each of us commence

With the act of liking each other

Loving another

And neglecting the other

Wishing we were close

Like the McManus brothers

Capable of nothing short

Of dying for one another

Atone for my sins

And let the world in

Would you let me begin?

Would you let me finish?

And I’m so sick and tired of this


If it was clear

I wouldn’t need you here

If I wasn’t so down

I wouldn’t need you around

If I’m happy

I don’t see you

If I’m happy

I don’t need you

But I still want you

Yeah, I still want you…

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Not Meant To Be

I know I wrote something just the other day

But apparently you weren’t looking my way

That’s no surprise and I’ve learned to deal

And I don’t need imaginary friends to prove I’m real

So pay attention and just watch close

I’m about to end my world of prose

The game I’m playing is no longer fun

And you’d never notice if I said I was done

I’d walk right out and leave you all alone

And you’d sit watching unaware I’d gone


Goodbye for now, or maybe indefinitely

I haven’t decided where I want you to be

Goodbye for now, or maybe indefinitely

You’ve obviously decided where you want me


I know I spoke to you just the other day

But apparently you didn’t hear what I had to say

That’s disappointing to say the least

And I don’t need you to define my peace

So close your eyes and belly up to the clichés

I’m about to go and ruin your day

The way you said it, I think you were lying

And you’d never notice that I was trying

I’d walk right out and leave you all alone

And you’d sit watching unaware I’d gone


Goodbye for now, or maybe indefinitely

I haven’t decided where I want you to be

Goodbye for now, or maybe indefinitely

You’ve obviously decided where you want me


I know you probably don’t understand

But apparently you can’t see my hand

That’s outstretched for you trying to pull you in

And I don’t think you realize I’m laughing within

So fire blind and I hope you hit them

I’m sorry to say I won’t be going down with them

The way you act, they’d think I was crazy

And your love could never be anything but lazy

I’d walk right out and leave you all alone

And you’d sit watching unaware I’d gone


Goodbye for now, or maybe indefinitely

I haven’t decided where I want you to be

Goodbye for now, or maybe indefinitely

You’ve obviously decided where you want me


I know that this was never meant to be

But apparently you thought we ought to see

That’s sweet of you, but let’s be serious

And I don’t think that either of us will miss

So here’s to you, the first I decide to quit

I’m tired of trying, and don’t think it’s worth it

The way you stared at my inner being

And one day maybe I’ll miss your feeling

I’d walk right out and leave you all alone

And you’d sit wishing that I’d never gone


Goodbye and let the curtains fall

And I don’t believe I’ll ever call

Goodbye and try to truly believe

That we were never meant to be

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Resolutions

Here to follow are resolutions

In the hopes of finding some solutions

To help me through my disillusion

And regain what’s left of my constitution


I resolve to not get involved

Except when truth is known

Never let sleeves be homes for hearts

Unless those hearts are shown


I resolve to not dissolve

Every time she leaves my sight

Never again will I long for her

Unless she’s worth the fight


I resolve to not revolve

Around an life that’s without purpose

Find what means the most to me

And bring hope to the hopeless


I resolve to not evolve

Into a creature that lacks definition

Get in touch with tissue and bones

And finally find my position


I resolve to finally solve

All the problems that plague me so

I resolve to know myself

When it’s not about what, but who you know

Sunday, December 06, 2009

Are You?

There’s no way out,

But would you have it any other way?

You’re locked in without a key

And you forgot long ago what to say


Keep chasing that tail

That girl is just out of your reach

Shut up and practice what you preach

While your thoughts run faster than your speech


Are you trapped? Are you afraid?

Are you lonely? Are you safe?

Are you false? Are you true?

Are you trapped? Are you, you?


There’s no sleep now

Just dreams of what you wish didn’t make you sad

You’re missing what was never really yours

Trying to get back what you never really had


So I guess what I’m trying to say

Is have a nice life and don’t get caught in the crossfire

Cut your love losses

And prepare to be undesired


Are you trapped? Are you afraid?

Are you wishing? Are you praying?

Are you love? Are you lust?

Are you trapped? Will I adjust?


And here she comes like a ton of bricks

To pin me down with lures of “quick fix”

And here it comes like a slap in the face

To help misdirect and keep me out of place

And there she goes on a wing and a prayer

To walk away from my every care

And there it goes the thrill of the chase

To help realign and keep me in place


One day son, she’ll be at your door

And one day son, there’ll be no need for any more

Pick yourself up and stop writing about it

No one gives a shit now; no one did before


Spice and sugar and everything together

And I guess what I’m trying to say is it could be better

To each his own, but to all alone

You’re only happy when life is sans laughter


Are you trapped? Are you afraid?

Are you the reason that I stayed?

Are you leaving? Are you staying?

Are you listening, to what I’m saying?

Are you finished? Are you done?

Am I imagining that there could be one?