Why I Can't Sleep At Night (Part II)

Another bad idea

Memories galore

And what can I say

Except: I had more…

Like a rose in the sky

And so pretty in pink

Locked in home knit eyes

I didn’t even think

It was last night’s tossing and turning

It was not quite learning

It was the food and the boat

It was listening to every note

It’s haunting to say the least

It was green eyes upon which I feast

It was the element of surprise

And staring at those eyes

It was being tackled for no reason

And the upcoming season

It was the air around, the atmosphere

It was in the back of your head

It was the ever-present fear

And knowing it was dead

It was snowboards and skis

And knowing how to tease

It was the way neither spoke

And it was utterly scared

It was just one last joke

And how only half cared

It was leaping mountains

And keeping those pains

It was a means to an end

And a now distant friend

It was a lack of communication

As it starts to break down

It was a silent cringe

Knowing it was no longer around

It was a fleeting moment

And it was chasing nothing

It was watching it all fall down

And searching for something

It was writing out thoughts

And having them ignored

It was leaning towards someone else

And watching her get bored

It was over before it began

It never followed any plan

It was always to be expected

But never wanting to let it

It was a stroke of luck

And a fool’s chance

It was an utter mess

And a doomed romance

It was sad to say the least

It was happy to go away

It was bringing life to the deceased

And it was forcing night to day

And it was

But no longer

And it hurt

But no longer

It was what kept me up at night

It was what slowly wore me down

It was longing for the sight

It was never having you around

It died finally back then

And it will never happen again…

Reading

I read about angels, and the demons in us all

And then I thought if one could fall, couldn’t they all?

I find it hard to believe that in all eternity

Only one angel thought it possible to think differently

Makes you wonder what makes Him so amazing

When one would rather leave than accept such a great thing

I read about time, how it escapes you and me

And the moment we’re born we’re no longer free

Trapped in a world that wants to destroy us

You can stack them up but your chances will never be enough

Makes you wonder how you can truly live your life

When all you get to live in is the blink of an eye

And if I could get back everything I lost

I would go ahead and try, no matter the cost…

I read about existence and how the trick is to survive

Avoid the pitfalls of predecessors to remain alive

I asked: Was there ever a day in history’s tides

Where everyone just lived and nobody died?

Makes you understand our arching determination

When we’re all fighting certain decimation

I read about the heavens, and where it all comes from

How it’s a goal for a few, and a guide for some

I asked: If we trust in the stars above in the sky

What will happen to our astrology the day their light dies?

Makes you wonder how we all stay grounded on this Earth

When we’re all staring up to the stars, looking for answers

And if I could understand what it means to comprehend

I would go ahead and try, until I had reached my end…

I read about competing, and how the trick is to never stop

And bonus points for all those you crush on your way to the top

I asked: If life’s a competition, a race, a combative event,

Then aren’t we all losers if we meet death at the end?

Makes you understand why none of us want to slow down

When we’re already lost and we just want to be found

I read about reason, and how we all make it subjective

And if any of us actually knew, we wouldn’t even know it

I asked: If there were a reason, would there also be a rhyme?

And if there were, could we even figure it out in time?

Makes you wonder what the point is in questioning motives

When somebody else’s reasons could end you in minutes

And if I had more time I would work on my timing

And factor out those factors that aren’t deciding

I read about destiny, and how it’s everywhere you want to be

And if you believe, then it can be a self-fulfilling prophecy

I asked: If I end up there, is it where I was destined to be?

How can I know, when the big picture, I can’t see?

Makes you wonder how we can all follow so blindly

When we ought not to be taking this so kindly

I read about days, and how they like to come and go

And how you don’t need yesterday to have tomorrow

I asked: If the past is dead, and the present is dying?

Then shouldn’t we look to the future and keep on trying?

Makes you wonder how some can focus on their trivial pasts

When everything is ahead, and it’s only the memories that last

And if angels don’t have time to ponder existence in the heavens

Should we be competing for the reason of our destiny until our days end?

Just don’t read too much into everything…

Okay??

Why I Can't Sleep At Night

This was a bad idea

No, I really shouldn’t do this

But then I ask: Why not?

And so here it is…

Like a rose in the sky

And so pretty in pink

Locked in home knit eyes

I didn’t even think

It was a certain way of seeing

They were my heart’s fated howls

It was talking without words

And listening to a city of owls

It was having inside jokes

Like the one about the raccoon

It was sitting up at night and writing

About it all under that half moon

It was reading all the time

Only to criticize the words

It was knowing the best was meant

And knowing that I was heard

It was white shirt and black tie

And everything in between

It was locking eyes with an angel

If you know what I mean

It was enticing green eyes

And looks that could kill

It was being able to play

Knowing you didn’t need much skill

It was terribly lovely

And lovingly terrible

It was waiting but never patient

Always quiet but never silent

It was running away from me

Through eloquent photography

It was something that was never said

But it still lingered in your head

It was the press, without pressure

And in a moment that night

It was new castles, new friends

In a soft and gentle light

It was watching the gypsy

Become all scuffed up

It was lying right there

And it was more than enough

It was locking eyes

With a short skirt flirt

It was blind and dumb

And it couldn’t be hurt

It was watching the east wood

As it fought decomposition

It was loving the moment

And being aware of our position

It was the pronunciation of words

And the laughter that did follow

It was never looking forward

And ignoring that it was hollow

It was taking care of one

While that one took care of me

It was happily closing my eyes at night

Because it was roses I did see

It was how it wasn’t lazy

But that it was merely just asleep

It was a love of mountains

No matter how steep

It was loving every moment

But watching every mistake

It was gazing upon true beauty

It was icing on the cake

It was knowing you hated your job

But that someone else could relate

It was watching someone leave

And hoping it could be fate

It was airport pickups

After you had landed from up above

It was an understanding not spoken

But some might call it love

It was a drink that had to be shaken

And then equally stirred

It was having it all come down

And you didn’t even say a word

It was cold climates and daydreams

It was falling apart at the seams

It was waking up without

And then retreating within

It was watching it end

While wondering how it did begin…

Like a rose in the sky

And so pretty in pink

Locked in home knit eyes

I didn’t even think

My Fate

It would appear that your money is speaking louder than my words

And just because I’m not physically scarred doesn’t mean that I’m not hurt

It would appear that you haven’t been listening, and I haven’t heard

But just because you’re life is going so well, doesn’t give you a reason to hurt

I’ve been waiting for what seems like forever

And I watch their good times come and stay

I’ll continue waiting until possibly forever

And if I had something to be happy about would I want it that way?

It would appear that your happiness is shining brighter than the sun

And just because I’m out for the count, it doesn’t mean that I’m done

It would appear that you truly are a man of religion

But that fact that He’s blessed you doesn’t change my position

I’ve been waiting for what seems like an eternity

And I watch their joy stay and just grow

I’ll continue to wait for my life’s entirety

And if I had something to be happy about would I even know?

It would appear that your desires are well within your grasp

But just because you have it all doesn’t mean you’re entitled to be an ass

It would appear that the coming days will lead you to a great place to tread

But just because I’m not moving, doesn’t mean you can treat me like I’m dead

I’ve been waiting for what seems like forever

And I watch their good times never end

I’ll continue waiting until possibly forever

And if I had something worth saying, it would already be in my head

It would appear I have little to offer, but even less to demand

But just because I’m out here on my own, doesn’t mean you can’t lend me a hand

It would appear that I’ve done too little too late,

And if I don’t find something soon, this world will seal my fate…