Monday, March 29, 2010

Standing Still

His best ideas come while on the go
But while standing still he just didn't know
True inspiration, to him, was priceless
As for the truth of his actions? He would not confess...

And he'd invite her over simply to sleep
No sexual agenda did he try to reap
So long as his dreams, she allowed him to keep
He, in her quiet company, did sleep

And when he awoke he took in only her gaze
Then fell back to sleep and woke up in present days
Where the mornings were clear but the romance was dead
And all of the above existed only in his head...

He'd get dressed, attend to business, come and go
But when he'd stand still he just didn't know
In the emptiness between here and there
He couldn't afford to keep turning a square

So he went along happily with the rest of the world
And each girl he passed became just another girl
He found excitement in the smallest of things
But couldn't find his angel, the kind without wings

And when he fell asleep he took in the day
Then drifted into his dreams, and flew away
Away to a place where the romance was alive
And his happiness wasn't falsely contrived

Awaking the next day, day after day
He dulled the pain with music and went on his way
Seeped in through the ears, but went straight to the soul
But when he stood still he couldn't find his goal

Always on the move so that he couldn't be caught
Always dodging the questions that pertained to naught
He got a leg up on the competition with out-stretched arms
Physically unscathed, but permeable to deeper harms

All in all, he was human, and no one outgoing
But when he stood still he had no way of knowing
The magic was fantasy; the chemistry had gone awry
And all in all, he was still just the umpteenth to try

He knew all the wrong people, but all the right places
Had just enough screws loose, but couldn't put names to faces
He woke up early, so that he could stay up late
He believed in freewill, but also in fate

He lived every day like it was his first
And drank up new information with unending thirst
He talked to God, but usually to curse Him
And other than that, he believed they were friends

In the silence he'd imagine some friends for fun
And they'd laugh until his daydream was done
He'd stand up, look around, and decide where to go
But while standing still he just didn't know

He's the kind of person you don't read about in books
But he is one who gets a lot of second looks
His story goes on though, and so does he
And it you don't know by now, he, is ...

Friday, March 26, 2010

Radio Tunes

…Turn the keys

Sit for a while

Look in the mirrors

And try to smile…


The radio tunes out to static

And into my head fades the sound

Of rubber hitting the asphalt

Of a burdening life all around


I know that you’ll never understand

And that’s the reason I keep writing

A ghost of the truth still remains

But most of me is still lying


If they know not what they do

Then that’s the reason they continue

If they know exactly what they do

Then it’s a feeling long overdue


Stay right where you are

And I won’t stray from where I am

Please God just don’t disappear

And let me believe this isn’t a sham


Forgive me because I know you can

Forgive me because I don’t deserve it

Please just let me rest at ease

And let me forget all this bullshit


Please don’t go looking for answers

In the words I write in exhaust

The words you read won’t be mine

And the truth of my mind has been lost


The radio tunes into music

And into my head fades the sound

Of something we can’t comprehend

Of a loss we can feel all around


…Turn the keys

Sit for a while

Look at yourself

And try to smile…

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Temperature

Cold and calculated

And you think you’re at the top

I don’t care who you are!

Where the hell does it stop?


Crush the masses

Before they end up crushing you

Where the hell does it stop?

And what are we supposed to do?


Can we simply sit by?

And watch it all with idle eyes?

And what are we supposed to do?

You look to me; I look to you


Cold and calculated

They move forward without hesitations

You look to me; I look to you


But looking can’t answer questions

Tepid and timid

And you sit in the middle and stare

I don’t care who you are!

Why not try acting like you care?


Innocence, in a sense

Because none of this seems real

Why not try acting like you care?

Or are you all too fake to feel?


Can’t I simply sit by?

And just fall in with the rest?

Or are you all too fake to feel?

Remember: In life we’re merely guests


Tepid and timid

I’d like to live without hesitation

You look for me; I look for you

But looking can’t answer questions


Hot and bothered

And you pray one day it breaks

I don’t care who you are!

I’m sick of doing what ever it takes


Play the fool

And tell them all that you want none

I’m sick of doing what ever it takes

I won’t miss you when you’re gone


I’m trying to get away

So that you can no longer bother me

I won’t miss you when you’re gone

Adorable, cute; I’m not free


Hot and bothered

I move on with some hesitation

I’m tired of just looking at you

But looking can’t answer questions

Friday, March 19, 2010

What We All Thought

“I just want to forget and be done…”

Well listen up sir, you’re not the only one

When what we all thought would never be done

Has turned out to be a new reason to run


“I just don’t want to hear it anymore...”

Well listen up ma’am, you’re not the only one who’s sore

When what we all thought was the end of the war

Has turned out to be an opened window to our closed door


“I just didn’t think it would be like that…”

Well listen up lad, you’re not the only one lying flat

When what we all thought was a disease expat

Has turned out to be native, something new to combat


“I just want it to go back to the way it was…”

Well listen up lass, you’re not the only one missing that applause

When what we all thought was one great, just cause

Has turned out to be a life that we can’t seem to pause


“I just didn’t think it could happen to me…”

Well listen up man, you’re not the only one looking to flea

When what we all thought was a guarantee

Has turned out to be us, buried in debris


“I just didn’t want a good thing to end…”

Well listen up miss, you’re not the only one to fear that friend

When what we all thought was the key to transcend

Has turned out to be a broken heart we can’t mend

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Damage Control

Look it over then close your eyes

We inhale deep

Open them up, try and surmise

No time to weep


Stop and sweep it under the rug

We hide the truth

Smother it up and keep it snug

Conceal, uncouth


Lie, cheat, try and try to succeed

It’s all worth it

Eat the fruit but spit out the seeds

It’s all bullshit


Obscured by clouds, smoke and mirrors

A vain motive

Straighten it out, to avoid tears

So adaptive


Sum it all up then we divide

Life takes its toll

We want just to enjoy the ride


Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Forks

“I can’t do this anymore.”

I say as my face hits the floor

Don’t need forks to tell me I’m done

Fought the battle but never won

I stood up to hit my head

I couldn’t remember what was said

Regurgitate upon this desk

And I can’t clean up my mess

It spreads about like ivy

All areas of my life, it chokes me

I spring up towards the sun

But all these problems weigh a ton

I’m stretching but getting nowhere

What’s sad is I no longer care

Could you take me back to when I was young?

When my dreams were not yet unsung?

“I swear it will get better.”

I’d say if I could pull it together

Don’t need forks to tell me I’m done

Tried to race knowing I couldn’t run

Don’t run before you learn to walk

And don’t listen to me because I’m one to talk

I don’t talk well enough to make a difference

I don’t listen well enough for it to make sense

If I could get paid to be me I’d be set

But as far as I know, no one’s created that job yet

I’m waiting for the green grass on the other side

And until then I guess I’m gonna run and hide

I just want to be apart of it

But they won’t let me forget

That my numbers don’t compare to theirs

I stand here while the world gives me blank stares

They can’t answer the questions I don’t know I possess

They just stand there looking down saying clean up your mess

Nobody talks down to me because they physically can’t

So please shut up with your condescending rant

“I can’t do this anymore”

As my face hits the floor

I’ve already stopped before I’ve begun

And I don’t need forks to tell me I’m done

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Miss S

Well hello Miss Shadow
Might I chase you forever?
Will you please get farther away,
As I try to get closer?
Well hello Miss Shadow
Might I cling with arms outstretched?
Will you please remain fictional,
So that I wait with bated breath?
Well hello Miss Shadow
Might you be the girl of my dreams?
Will you please continue to tease,
Until my reality is torn by the seams?

Once you feel like it could happen
Like you think that they want you too
Well that's the instant they don't want you
And that's when you circle back and question you

Well hello Miss Surprise
Might I find in you genuineness?
Will you continue to distract me,
Until my head is a complete mess?
Well hello Miss Surprise
Might you be one I've never seen before?
Will you walk in the opposite direction,
So that I'll never see you anymore?
Well hello Miss Surprise
Might you remain idiosyncratic?
Will I ever be out of my head?
Yeah that would be a neat trick...

Once you feel like it could happen
Like you think that they want you too
Well that's the instant they don't want you
And that's when you pray it doesn't eat through you

Well hello Miss Nowhere
Can you prove to me you care?
And to you Miss Nothing
Can you prover to me you're something?
As for you Miss Nonexistent
Can you prove to me your intent?
And to you Miss Nugatory
Can you remain the reason I write these stories?

Well hello Miss Seduction
Could we ever make this real?
Will you please never stop talking
So that I can't tell you how I really feel?
Well hello Miss Seduction
Might I hang on to you every word?
Will I ever just wake the hell up,
And realize you never listened, you never heard?
Well hello Miss Seduction
Might you be the one I love?
Will I ever break your spell,
And learn that you aren't good enough?

Once you feel like it could happen
Like you think that they want you too
Well that's the instant they don't want you
Crushed...
Hushed...
Silenced...
Subdued...


I can't make it up these stairs
Without an overbearing stress
I can't sleep without nightmares
And I still long for Miss S.

Friday, March 12, 2010

A Moment

She walks by, but drops her book

He picks it up, and gives her a look

Their eyes meet, pleasantries exchanged

And I look on asking: Would it be the same?

If in fact the situation upon me was thrust

Could what happened between those two of happened to us?


A moment sooner and I’d have been there

But instead, I’m here, questioning if life’s fair


She walks in and he holds the door

She says, “After you.” He says, “No, I implore.”

Their eyes meet, and she says, “Give me a call.”

And I look on asking: Would it be identical?

If in fact the situation, upon me, was thrust

Could what happened between those two of happened to us?


A moment sooner and I’d have been there

But instead, I’m here, questioning if life’s fair


She walks by, but then she stops

Abruptly she trips, and begins to drop

Just us, in that moment as I brace her fall

Then she looks up contemplating it all

I look down and our eyes cross

Thrust upon me, it’s finally happened to us.


A moment later and I’d have lost her

But instead, we’re here, standing together

Timing

He said he’d only do it if it got bad enough

But what exactly was meant by “bad enough”?

Would he really let a relative state,

Dictate his life, away from his fate?

But how was he to know in his stalemate

If one fate takes precedence over other fates?

Would he really let the words of man,

Mess with him and with God’s plan?

He questioned destiny and free will

But only when he had time to kill

What if it was truly God’s choice

For him, at this moment, to raise his voice?

To speak so free about matters insignificant

And never allow them to tell him he can’t


He said he’d find a way when the time was right

But when exactly is time ever right?

Would he really stop and examine time’s direction

So he could pick out a time of perfection

Could he even know when the best was there?

And if a better time came would he be impaired?

Would he really let the constraints of man,

Mess with him and with God’s plan?

He questioned destiny and free will

But only when time stood still

He had upon him a guilty conscience

For all the time that he had killed

So under appreciated and now long gone

Luckily, he thought, it goes on and on


He said he’d do it if worse came to worse,

But how exactly does worse get any worse?

Would he really wait amidst the crap,

And judge the future on the past?

And what if it happened that better came to better?

Always looking for worse, would he even care?

Would he really let the decay of man,

Mess with him and with God’s plan?

He questioned destiny and free will

But only when weak, was his will

Because he didn’t know, and neither do you

What it is we are meant to do

But he goes on, knowing he knows nothing

And he can’t wait for something that’s never coming.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Misplaced Attention

If they go up, then I go down

If I go up, they’re not around


I woke up early, but then arrived late

My head’s in quite a messed up state


If you give a smile, you’ll get a smile

Unless you haven’t smiled in awhile


Kiss it goodbye and don’t ask why

The day we understand is the day we die


Take your turn, study and learn

Find a goal for which to yearn


Broken hearts and misplaced darts

And what arrives must soon depart


Again, again, I know, I know

I can only follow where it wants to go


An apple a day keeps the doctor away

A trite cliché always ruins my day


We’re all united but still dividing

We’re always seen but still hiding


What goes up must come down

What walks away must not be found


An ear tuned out will soon go deaf

And spawn a mouth bereft of clef


The social dynamic takes a somber mood

While we deny it isn’t well and good


We all scurry, rush and dart

But what arrives must soon depart


The blink of an eye or so I’ve seen

What is my life supposed to mean?


5 minutes ago I couldn’t sleep

Now dreams of you are all I keep


Set me up, and I’ll fail all on my own

You’ll look at me like I should have known


Watch the present with a glimpse of the past

Stare at the future knowing it won’t last


5 hours ago, I was long gone

But thought I’d continue ‘til I was done


Rocks, scissors, and paper hearts

And what arrives will soon depart

Sunday, March 07, 2010

It Could Be Worse

Push down the accelerator but then go in reverse

That’s pretty terrible, but I guess it could be worse

And she comes up in just about every verse

That’s pretty terrible, but I guess it could be worse


Haven’t seen you in awhile, are you mad at me?

Haven’t spoken because you keep asking me

The more you question, the less inclined I’ll be

I’ll appear again when you’re not looking for me


Look down from this curbed elevation

And I see no cause for this violation

This traffic should move without hesitation

But still I’m numb from the sensation


They hack up lungs, but only because they have to

They shell out tons, but only when they need to

They need to now, but only because they can’t do

They lie in graves, because this is what it’s come to


I’ve tasted lust and thought that it was bittersweet

Been up and down above heads and under feet

They act surprised like your company is a treat

But they despise and forget you after you both meet


Shift from neutral to drive, but then go in reverse

That’s pretty terrible, but I guess it could be worse

We say what’s on our minds but it somehow sounds perverse

That’s pretty terrible, but I guess it could be worse


A blueprint so that you don’t have to see red

A hope that you already know what’s in my head

A question of faith, but it’s already been said

A peace of mind, but still no sleep in my bed


They drink it up, but only because they have to

They fill their cups, but only when they need to

They need to now, because they thirst for that brew

They lie in graves, because this is what it’s come to


I’m locked outside, but at least it’s raining

And is that love that you’re feigning?

It’s not that bad, so quit complaining

If worse comes to worse, at least you’re entertaining


You’ve escaped the sinking ship, only to be eaten by the waves

And the love that says it’ll stay is the love that truly saves

You’ve managed not to drown, but you’re what the shark craves

And the day that I forget you, is the day we’re in our graves


Push down the brake but then you fly right off the track

That’s pretty terrible, but you know that you’ll be right back

And she comes up because she won’t come back

That’s pretty terrible, but it’s not quite fading to black

Friday, March 05, 2010

Trying Until

They say that when you're a liar
You must keep track of all your lies
So I'll continue trying
Until one of us dies

They say when you're around them
You can get a contact high
So I'll continue trying
Until I'm flying through that sky

They say when you don't look for it
That's when it hits you with surprise
So I'll continue trying
Until I'm living with closed eyes

The say that what you put in
Is what you will get out of it
So I'll continue trying
Until I'm tired of putting up with it

They say that when you find it
That's when you'll truly know it's real
So I'll continue trying
Until I've escaped the surreal

They say that when your'e there
There's no place you'd rather be
So I'll continue trying
Until I'm finally free

They say that when it's gone
It won't ever return
So I'll continue trying
Until you finally learn

They say that when you're a liar
You must keep track of all your lies
So I'll continue trying
Until this whole thing dies...