The Hopeless Romantic (Part 1)

He sits in his room to contemplate doom

But starts to disjoint as he misses the point

His utter dismay keeps him feeling this way

But he hopes it won’t last as he dwells on his past

A kiss on the cheek would make him go weak

But what he doesn’t sow will never grow

His bulletproof defense keeps them in suspense

But it will dissolve as he loses resolve

She walks his way and he knows just what to say

But preconceived lies will never draw her eyes

She walks closer still; he briefly loses his will

But what he perceives could never willingly leave

Once again able he tells her “You’re beautiful.”

But it can only be said if it leaves his head

He remains pliant as she passes him, silent

Because he knows one day he’ll find a way

He searches the sky and asks himself why

But gazing at stars won’t heal his scars

He searches the sea for what he longs to be

But staring at waves won’t give him what he craves

A hand on his heart would give him a start

But he’ll never acquire what he doesn’t truly desire

With a reworked offense he keeps them in suspense

And he’ll be right back with a new plan of attack

Spare Change

Here I am amongst the lines and lives

Heading towards the wheels and gears

Trying to avoid looks like knives

Trying to put a deaf ear to all their fears

Here he comes with a slumped and beaten stance

Defeated by the wind and the cold

He puts out his hand and asks for a chance

But I’ve already heard what I’m going to be told

Where’s my kindness? And what have I done?

But I can’t help but think I won’t be the only one

Survival of the fittest has taken a turn for the worst

And I’m trapped, thinking: “What do I say first?”

Here I am amongst the leather and glass

Heading back to a comfortable life I’ve built

I question the lives of all those I pass

I question when I’ll escape this guilt

There he is now amidst a world that has won

He walks along toward more hidden faces

I know for a fact he’s not the only one

I know he’s not the only one the cold still embraces

Where’s my love? And what have I done?

But I fight the guilt by convincing myself I’m not the only one

Survival of the fittest has turned a bit too extreme

And I’m left thinking: “Is it all just a bad dream?”

Here I am amongst the chilled winter’s air

Heading towards the cotton and wool

Trying to pretend that I don’t care

Hoping one day that he’ll be full

Where he is now I don’t think I can say

Maybe still waiting to be treated kindly

All I can do is hope and pray

That somebody else won’t act as blindly

Where’s my heart? And what have I done?

We can’t help everybody, but what about one?

Survival of the fittest has gone and ruined us all

And so I pray to God that He’ll pick me up if ever I fall

Losing My Mind

I wish I could escape what was left behind

I wish I could just lose my mind

Pull it out of my head and say goodbye

As it stays put while I walk by

Adopt ignorance and embrace the bliss

And run, carefree, away from all this

I’d leave it there for all the world to see

Just how much it didn’t mean to me

People would pass by it and casually stare

But I wonder if they’d even care

Care about a mind that was left behind

Alone for someone else to find

And all the while they’d wonder whose it was

And if it was abandoned for just cause

I’d leave it there for all the world to see

Just how much it didn’t mean to me

And as time would pass in my world of bliss

I’d never remember my mind or ever miss

I’d float and believe that I was free

In a world where they couldn’t bother me

Call me ignorant for being devil may care

But you didn’t know it; you weren’t there

I know why I decided to leave it behind

I know why I decided to lose my mind

I might come back after years have passed

And see all the dust my mind has amassed

I’d contemplate about picking it up

I’d get halfway and then have to stop

Torn between memory and senility

I’d hesitate about what I’d want to be

Should I return to the thoughts I left behind?

Or revel in the fact that I’ve lost my mind?

Impact

I woke up this morning with a sound in my ear

But I know your voice isn’t what I want to hear

I woke up to a strange paranoia within

And I just didn’t know exactly how to begin

I woke up this morning with no intention of continuing

But no good end can come without a damn good beginning

I know that this morning there’ll be dreams I can’t keep

And there’s a fear in me that runs quite deep

I know that disorder is all the rage this year

But I can’t sleep while you’re still here

I know that this morning I’ll look back while moving forward

But that doesn’t mean that my mind isn’t altered

There’s a chance that everything I continue to see

Doesn’t really have an impact on me

There’s a way to wake up, but not in my case

As you just won’t seem to leave this place

There’s a chance I could tell you how this story will end

But I’m worried this is an issue that even time can’t mend

You’re standing there trying to veil your disgust

While your outward appearance strangely resembles lust

You’re fishing for what you just won’t catch

While I’m trying to find another flame within this match

You’re standing there waiting for me to speak

But we won’t find what we have no motivation to seek

I woke up this morning in a daze that won’t pass

But I’m going back to bed because this won’t last

I woke up to each and every voice in my head

All shouting in unison how they wanted me dead

I woke up this morning with no intention of continuing

But no good end can come without a damn good beginning

There’s a feeling today that escapes even the best

And you reach for it like all of the rest

There’s a answer tomorrow that will explain today

But instead of opening your eyes to see it’ll just fade away

There’s a feeling that stays hushed for fear of disrupting

But staying quiet won’t create something out of nothing

Why must getting it started be the hardest part?

As each beat questions another passing heart

Why must maintaining it be the hardest part?

As each beat questions the current heart

Why must leaving it be the hardest part?

As we beg the question “How did this start?”

You’re waiting for something that might never come

We know you’re not deaf, but that doesn't mean you're not dumb

You’re eyeing a day that you hope will take you away

And I can’t help but notice you haven’t even finished today

You’re implying that what you have will one day be better

But wishful thinking won’t make an always out of a never

I woke up this morning and then went straight back to bed

I know full well that I can’t keep living inside my head

I woke up this morning but never really did wake

I don’t need to be reminded of all my past mistakes

I woke up this morning with no intention of continuing

But no good end can come without a damn good beginning

All Falls

All they wanted was a way out

All they wanted was someone to care about

All they got was a road back in

To a world where they were locked within

All they wanted was to see them smile

All they wanted was to be wanted once in a while

All they saw was what they could have been

In a world where they were locked within

All they wanted was to be someone different

All they wanted was to know what it meant

All they found were those who just spoke

In a world played out like a cruel joke

All they wanted was someone to hold

All they wanted was a reason to grow old

All they found was a road less travelled

To a world that just wanted to unravel

And it fell…

It fell out from beneath them

While they looked up to the stars

They were pining for their dreams

While we all got ours

All we do is watch each other

All we think we can’t say to one another

All we find is another reason to leave

From a world that only seems to deceive

All we do is what’s already been done

All we think are thoughts of that one

All we find is another walking away

In a world where we can’t find words to say

All we do is what is best for us

All we want will never be enough

All we find is another reason to fear

In a world where we’re not really here

All we do could be done by any other

All we need could be found in that lover

All we find is a road too travelled

To a world that just wants to unravel

And it all falls…

It falls out from beneath us

While we look up at the stars

We keep pining for our dreams

Trying to ignore our scars

Now all the world’s a stage

But were not all on the same page

All for one and one for none

In a world devoid of that one

All they wanted was what we have

And all we want is what they have

And it all falls…

It all just falls apart

In a world that’s clearly lost its heart

Inevitability

And it’s sad, but not as sad as us

And we can give, but often not enough

It’s not a ways away, it’s often right here

It’s not how we want, but it’s nothing to fear

We all will see it, some before others

It won’t hurt some, but others it smothers

We look on with regret; we look on with envy

We all find ourselves saying, “It won’t happen to me…”

And it’s awful, but not as awful as us

And we take precautions, but it’s just not enough

You’ve seen me before, but I can’t quite see you

As time slips away I just wish I knew

While we lump together a lifetime of memories

There’s still a life out there that nobody sees

We all hope for moments much grander than us

We do all that we can, but it’s still not enough

We all want to be another’s sweet memory

We just want to close our eyes and finally see

A vision of beauty that’s adequately immense

A dream that hopes to validate our existence

Instigation of Another Mess

Couldn’t quite catch my breath

But I kept sprinting nonetheless

I tried to count on one hand how much time had elapsed

But my body just wanted to collapse

I kept stumbling over my pinky finger

As I realized it was still sworn to her

Headlights would have to guide me home now

As my soul had clearly lost the know how

In an instant I’m in a field of broken goals

And I walk along through their tattered mesh

I wonder why I’m paying all of life’s tolls

While browsing for a way to refresh

I’m there. I’m here. I’m walking away

But their banter still bothers me regardless

I wonder what it is that I have to say

To get me into another mess

I sit here and stare at a blank slate

I sit here and determine my plan of attack

I sit here and contemplate my fate

I sit here and wonder why you came back

In an instant I’m inside and surrounded

And try as I may I can’t get out

I wonder why these tolls are being compounded

While trying not to scream and shout

I’m there. I’m here; to me that much is clear

But the silence still bothers me regardless

I wonder what it is I have to fear

To get me into another mess

Couldn’t quite catch my breath

But I kept sprinting nonetheless

I tried to count on one hand how much time had elapsed

But my body just wanted to collapse

I kept stumbling over my pinky finger

As I realized it was still sworn to her

Headlights would have to guide me home now

As my soul had clearly lost the know how

In an instant I’m burning bridges

And I walk along coughing on the smoke

I wonder why life wants to be so ridged

I guess it’s another incomprehensible joke

I’m there. I’m here. But I don’t want to be

And avoidance seems pleasant regardless

I wonder what is required of me

To get me into another mess

I sit here among the bright-eyed and dead inside

I sit here and ignore my plan of attack

I sit here and wish that I could just hide

I sit here and wonder why you came back

In an instant the room spins and I’m gone

Safely coddled by deluded illusions

I wonder what it is that I must have done

To not have arrived at their same conclusions

I’m here. I’m there. I’m here. You’re where?

No time but I’m searching regardless

I wonder how much I have to care

To get me into another mess

Couldn’t quite catch my breath

But I kept sprinting nonetheless

I tried to count on one hand how much time had elapsed

But my body just wanted to collapse

I kept stumbling over my pinky finger

As I realized it was still sworn to her

Headlights would have to guide me home now

As my soul had clearly lost the know how