Freckled Demise

A freckle past a hair

That I noticed was there

Blanketing a beautiful face

That I know keeps me grounded in this place

And enthusiastic tone

That reminds me I’m not alone

Like free flowing red petals

That revitalize my vitals

She walks in… we lock eyes…

I countdown… to our demise…

A hair past a freckle

That always makes me smile

When I toss and turn at night

I find myself looking for her light

An always welcome tone

That reminds me I’m not alone

I watch her go, and I come back

While this pit grows in my stomach

I walk out… no goodbyes…

I watch at a distance, my demise…

That sweet and delicate smile

That keeps me going all the while

A girl that wants me to follow

And I can’t help but feel hollow

Suddenly she doesn’t like my tone

And I’m reminded that I’m all alone

To sleep perchance to dream

While I’m wishing things were what they seem

It happens again… no words just tries…

They watch but can’t understand my demise…

She wants me, but I don’t want her

I guess I get what I deserve

I want her, but she doesn’t want me

I guess neither of us can truly see

Three rings, one more and we get the tone

And if we just picked up we wouldn’t be alone

And if we just gave up we would see

That if it’s good, it’s not meant to be

She walks in… we lock eyes…

It happens again… count down to our demise…

And this if you're interested... it's a cover

Crepuscolo Sul Mare

5 Minutes In A Town Where She Wasn't

I once took a walk to a town of renown

A place in a state with unstable ground

I stayed for five minutes, not like all the rest

All of them were here first, that’s what I found

I once started talking to lads and lasses alike

In this town where I was quickly learning

That in this state no one seemed to care

All of them were here first, that’s what I was discerning

I once fell in love in a town of pure heat

But woke up the next morning oddly cold

I asked those around, “Is this common place?”

All of them replied yes, and that’s what I was told

I once heard a truth that I thought must be lie

In this town to be selfless is a stroke to one’s ego

To put your life on the line for another was nonsense

All of them were for them, that’s what I came to know

I once asked the people of this quaint little town

“If you commit just an ounce to another

Does that somehow put you under their control?”

All of them hesitated…but yes, that’s the belief they were under

I once stood up, and walked out a door that stayed open

In a town of people that never wanted to be hopeless

“Can I really go on if I’m constantly questioning the heavens above?

And in an instant I learned, there’s no such thing as true love

I once heard a girl in this town as my walls fell down

She was quiet at first, but then she started coming around

Knowing only her voice, I asked the townsfolk for help

All of them were preoccupied, and she was never found

I once stammered onward towards a girl I couldn’t see

In a town that wanted absolutely nothing to do with me

Save for a glance and I would keep thinking I had a chance

All of them would walk away, but her voice would stay with me

I once lived in this town for five minutes or so

In a state so unstable I was in a constant blur

“If I wake up unharmed, and make it out of here alive

All of my resolve won’t be for me, but just for her…”

Why

Why can’t anyone understand?

What I’m saying is in a language they comprehend

But no one seems to understand

And so I’m meeting any untimely end…

Why can’t the world be simple?

What I’m asking isn’t too much is it?

But no one seems to care

And so I’m here not giving a shit…

Why can’t I understand?

What they’re saying is making no sense

And everyone seems to go with it

And so I’m being crushed by a pressure, immense…

Why can’t I stop asking why?

What exactly is your destination?

Everyone seems to be okay

With experiencing the same sensation…

Why, just why?

Will it answer any questions to ask more?

Everyone seems to be okay with everything

And I still don’t know what’s in store…

Why can’t I just stop?

And tell them how it is I truly feel?

Everyone seems wrapped up in the dream

Believe me, they aren’t real…

It's What You Need

I know exactly why you’re here

And I don’t intend to let you stay

So you can go ahead and swagger on

Talk your talk in your sick way

But I’ve decided not to accept

And I will end your ongoing decay

So you just let them stand by?

While they fawn over you?

Never really doing anything

Oh, how they love you!

Get your jollies on their false hopes

That they could ever be with you

Watch them pine and slowly die

Under your thumb is an understatement

You revel in their eyes locked on you

Under your spell is more like it

They would die to be with you

While you would rather circumvent

Enough is now enough

And your toying cannot pursue

How can you stand idly by

While they waste their lives for you?

Does it boost your ego to watch

All the torment that’s undue?

No, I know what it is

It’s that deep down you’re insecure

You need all of their attentions

To help you reassure

That you’re still desirable in nature

Yes, that truly is your fear

So yeah, I know exactly why you’re here

And I don’t intend to let you stay

No longer can you swagger on

And talk us all into dismay

I don’t need another obsession

And I don’t need you to be my way

There Once Was

There once was a field as vast as could be

And it went on beyond what the eye could see

Over the earth, a giant chartreuse sea

And in this field stood you and me

There once was a field that was home to a tree

The largest imaginable growing free

Its roots were strong, and so very deep

And under its branches sat you and me

There once was a day when you loved me

And then I learned that it couldn’t be

Left alone lying under that tree

In the vast field I ceased to be

There once were words heard in fields of green

That needed no voices, just you and me

Time would pass, and we both would see

There’s no place here for fields of green

There once were sights seen from up in that tree

That needed no eyes, just you and me

Time would pass, and we both would see

There’s no place here for being up in trees

There once was a day that didn’t have to be

And looking back I can finally perceive

Once again in this field it’s only me

But one day she’ll come. One day, maybe…

The Musician & His Muse

Again I’ve turned up the volume

So loud that I can’t concentrate

That’s fine with me though

But she’s apparently growing irate

I guess I’d rather not think

I guess I’d rather not hear

That’s fine with me though

But she’s apparently starting to fear

Watch the speakers blow out

And see the sound waves explode

That’s fine with me though

But she’s apparently about to corrode

Can you feel it in your bones?

Oh how they just rattle and shake!

That’s fine with me though

But she’s apparently had all she can take

It’s increasing ever still

While I enjoy it, they all ask why

That’s fine with me though

But she’s apparently looking like she’s gonna die

Another day, and I’m numb with rhythm

It’s not listening, it’s musically living

That’s fine with me though

But she’s apparently still unforgiving

At long last it’s grown silent

With a sound I can now only feel

That’s fine with me though

But she’s apparently become unreal…

Fell from the ground

To the sky she will go

We’re all deaf from the sound

And none of us know

Looking to blame

It’s undoubtedly so

I brought this upon myself

That’s fine with me though…

Suffice It To Say

Butterflies?

And a welcome disguise

Maybe in time

I won’t need all of these tries

Stand up straight

And open up my eyes

I understand now

That they were all just lies

Butterflies?

And it’s too much to bear

Maybe in time

I won’t think I need to care

Stand up straight

When it’s truth or dare

I understand now

That it’s just a cold love affair

Butterflies?

And it no longer goes one-way

Maybe in time

I won’t think about what I say

Stand up straight

And don’t even start to dismay

I understand now

That it’s one helluva buffet

Butterflies?

And doesn’t it just feel nice

Maybe in time

I won’t need to seek your advice

Stand up straight

Just be calm and concise

I understand now

That what I have now will surely suffice.

Party

It’s all smiles, so put on your face

And keep it on until you leave this place

Don’t ever let ‘em know what you hide

Keep ‘em out from the inside

Keep ‘em out from the inside…

Turn up the music and understand

That everyone here wants to be your friend

So close your eyes and enjoy the ride

Keep ‘em out from the inside

Keep ‘em out from the inside…

Another round for the fun you’ve found

Allow them all to lift you off the ground

Nothing was said, but it was all implied

Keep ‘em out from the inside

Keep ‘em out from the inside…

Locking lips, and swaying hips

And he who falls hardest, truly trips

Your newfound friends have now allied

Keep ‘em out from the inside

Keep ‘em out from the inside…

Driving away you don’t have the words to say

That everything last night just made your day

What a time to be had, but when it subsides

Keep wishing for one to come inside

Keep hoping for one to let inside…

Presently Simplistic

Sitting within these four walls

I stop to keep thinking of you

Getting up, I turn. I leave.

This simply will not do

I question where my guardian angel is

And if what it’s watching is better than me

Has heaven been sucked in to the idiot box?

I pray it cannot be

When man is his own devil

Is it any wonder just one religion won’t do?

You look up wondering where God is to save us

While I look back and ask simply: “Would you?”

Sitting under this sky

I stop to keep thinking of you

Getting up, I move. I leave.

This simply will not do

They tell me it is better to be there than not

But neither side can offer up any proof

Circle the drain until it’s all the same

I pray for a simple truth

In 100 years we’ll look back with dirt in our eyes

But surprisingly we’ll seeing in 20/20

If no one knows what happens next

I think my present focus is what I’ll choose to see

Standing amidst the darkness

I stop to start seeing you

No need to move. I’m here.

This moment will more than do.

Difficultly Deaf

Deaf ears are no longer something to fear

But to say that I’m biased, is incorrect

To stand tall and revel in it all

Is difficult when you’re up to your knees in it

Deaf ears have been around for years

But to say I haven’t noticed is incorrect

Living in the moment, free of that torment

Is difficult when you’re up to your waist in it

Deaf ears have nothing to do with tears

But to say that I’m heartless is incorrect

Trying not to get drunk, in that pretty punk

Is difficult when you’re up to your neck in it

Deaf ears will never suffer arrears

But to say that I’m not generous is incorrect

To show no affection for a musical infection

Is difficult when you’re up to your ears in it

Deaf ears can’t watch it as it reappears

But to say that I’ve gone soft is incorrect

To just condemn and not allow it to stem

Is difficult when you’re up to your head thinking of them…

4am In Black & White

I can’t tell you how it started

I can only tell you what happened

I can’t explain what I saw

As I merely witnessed the end

Jumping from time to time

I was at one point here, then there

I opened my eyes to a new light

And a landscape growing bare

As I walked throughout this land

The sun beat down on earthly faults

I looked up to see an endless world

Not here for causes, but for results

Glancing up into the distance

There materialized in black and white

A person walking towards me

Making me question my sight

As they walked listlessly closer

There came another from right behind

Again without a distinct hue

As I tried to make sense in my mind

Soon there appeared a dozen

All around me and moving in

As I stood on this barren land

I began to contemplate within

From where were they all coming?

And what purpose did they have for me?

Should I fear or open my arms?

Should I close my eyes or choose to see?

Before I could decide

Whether to run, or forestall

I was suddenly out of my own body

Safely distanced, watching it all

The colorless beings moved no further

But simply stood around me in my past

As I floated in my future, dismembered

I wondered why they had amassed

Confused at the ordeal

I left them for a taste of reality

As for what would happen next

Maybe tonight I’ll dream and see…

Recurring

Am I just a means to an end?

While you stand there wringing your hands

“It’s okay,” I say, “you can tell me…”

But I know too well I just made a new friend

But it didn’t stop there

No, it’s like trying to run through a brick wall

“It’s just okay,” I say, “I’m fine…”

But I’m finding it hard believing this happens to us all

Weathered we hang our heads

And take a shot with those around

“It’s not okay,” I say, “but it will be…”

But as I stand up, my feet don’t meet the ground

Give me a list of your demands

So that I can kill to just hold your hand

“It’s okay,” I say, “I can wait…”

We’ll sit and wait, but not take a stand

When speaking of your desires

It’s best you include everyone but me

“It’s that way,” I say “but it doesn’t have to be…”

I hate the way you’re blind, but can any of us really see?

Are you just a means to an end?

While I stand here wringing my hands

“It’s okay,” you say, “you can tell me…”

But I know too well that you won’t comprehend

In all honesty, I made the wrong decision

Flying blind, I think I’m losing my voice

“It’s not okay,” you say, “and it won’t be…”

But while I think it was, it was never my choice

Weathered and clearly misled

Where exactly is it that we are going?

“It’s that way,” you say, “and it will be…”

I would love to have some way of knowing

Day in and a way out

Or so we would all like to believe

“It’s just okay,” you say, “I’m fine…”

We’re still young, but we can’t still be so naïve

I wish you’d give it to me straight

I’d like to think if you could, you would

“It’s okay,” you say, “just okay…”

Patiently waiting for it to go from bad to good

State of Mind

Sound asleep

Dreaming of the dreams I’ll keep

Wide awake

Making way for the life I’ll make

Slipped under

Watched the beauty torn asunder

Grew older

Watched the world grow colder

Bright sunset

Lingered with the one I just met

Dark sunrise

Staring quietly in her eyes

Deceitful angel

Making her way from heaven to hell

Honest fiend

Wished he hadn’t intervened

Sound asleep

Remembering memories I won’t keep

Wide awake

Making up for the time, time will take

Counting down

To the days of my renown

Accumulating

The moments when we’re not hating

Hindsight in view

Because they’re all coming after you

Twenty-twenty won’t do

When each of them can see through

Drama king

Building sandcastles that can’t sing

Comedy queen

Trying to conceal the obscene

Sound asleep

Watching my watch slowly creep

Wide awake

We’ve misinterpreted our mistakes

Stop.

Your yelling at the wall

Won’t make them call

Your staying awake ‘til three

Won’t make it be

Your cursing the heavens in vain

Won’t really ease the pain

Stop. Seethe. Breathe.

Wishing for moments

Won’t stop their laments

Wishing for reversals

Won’t stop pain’s universals

Wishing for someone

Won’t make them come

Stop. Comprehend. Mend.

Your conversations after two

Will end up being about you

Your thoughts while intoxicated

Will end up feeling quite outdated

Your life, which you are trying to mend

Will benefit from one good friend

Stop. Embrace. Replace.

Praying that it will one day change

Will not make things less strange

Praying to hear yourself talk

Will not improve the way you walk

Praying to God to get you out of here

Will not allow you to disappear

Stop. Move. Love.

Your days will grow longer

And you will grow stronger

Your ways will solidify

And you’ll no longer ask why

Your actions will see light

And you’ll no longer fear the night

Love. Just. Love.

An August Person

I’m a night person

Who only exists during the day

I’m a nice person

I just forgot what to say

On the backs of receipts

Or whatever I sight

On an organized screen

I’m compelled to write

Better act quick

Before the thought runs away

It just won’t stick

My muse won’t stay

Nobody knows

Until they’ve been hurt

Out of reach it glows

Because you can’t grasp its worth

None of it was doctored

I simply got false information

I’m not getting a postcard

While you’re on your damn vacation

We could fall in love

Fondly looking towards forever

But fickle is the will

Thus we mustn’t be together

But enough of trying to make this special

I’m not looking to have my face everywhere

And if that’s what you’re looking for

You won’t find me looking there

Subtlety

I couldn’t be colder than I currently am,

And at that moment, I remember where I am

It’s what I said, and wishing you were dead

What’s in my head, and regretting what I said

It’s a quick fix that I just can’t fix

When I know that it’s supposed to stick

But it doesn’t and it just drives away

And you look at me like you planned it that way

You’re not what you are, so stop being what you’re not

We’re drunk, getting colder, hoping everyone forgot

Just shut the f___ up and please go away

Because at this moment I don’t know what to say

Take a walk and we can talk

But you’re just another sheep that flocks

To me, never fro because you always know

That I’ll be back even though I go

Away from you though I’ll never escape

And what I wouldn’t give to get around your red tape

If you’re reading this, then it’s already to late

Because you can’t quite understand your fate

And to hang around me and commiserate

Will surely make you grow irate

Oh it hasn’t yet? Well give it time

Because I’m sure you’ll grow tired of my rhymes

And my simple charms that cause you no harm

But you’ll evade and never disarm

It’s a world of peace I’ll never see

And it’s a dream that will never be

Because to believe in that would be a lie

And when it’s all gone it’s gone awry

To have seen it before would imply I’m jaded

So excuse me while I walk with the faded

The drunk the battered and the used

And don’t come around here thinking I’ve been abused…

Double Talk

Business or pleasure?

And can’t we just get together?

Stress or leisure?

Because I’m not quite sure

The art of persuasion

And you started to run

A full-blown invasion

Because you’re quite sure we’re done

Work or play?

And can’t we just stay?

Antipathy or inactivity?

Because I just wanted to see

A damsel in distress

And you can already see the mess

A knight in rusting armor

Because it was all I could give her

Apathy or ecstasy?

And you don’t mean that much to me

Empathy or hostility?

Because I can’t tell which one’s me

As thick as thieves

But still surprised when you deceive

False or true?

So which one are you?