I Was Young And Dumb

I was young and dumb

When she said, “Don’t fall in love.”

Just ecstatically numb

When I was in infatuation

I can laugh about it now

Looking back I didn’t know how

How to calm my beating heart

How to be romantically smart

But I never blamed her for shaking my soul

I merely questioned God about His goal

I thought He was having a good laugh

A cruel joke at my expense

And the fact that I couldn’t understand

Made the pain more intense

But I was young and dumb

And never was in love

Too lonely to say “Enough”

Too afraid to toughen up

I didn’t want her to leave

At the cost of my own sleep

I didn’t want her to go too

Though I think I always knew

That we weren’t supposed to be two

But with what I learned, I grew

No more blaming God or nature

Just because I was unsure

No more blaming circumstance

When I was lucky to have a chance

No more damning the idea of romance

Because I couldn’t dance

But I was young and dumb

And didn’t want to believe

That what works for some of them

Might not work for me

I grew sick of only seeing

Watching. Begging God. I was pleading

Wondering when would be the day

That I might get to say

That she was mine not someone else’s

That I’m the only one that she’s with

It eats you up on the inside

And starts to play tricks on your mind

The longing starts to consume you

And you’re no longer surprised

That you don’t know what the hell to do

But I’m young and dumb

And might have learned from this one

But I guarantee this shit is far from over

I guarantee you it’s far from done

With a glance across the horizon

I find myself with tunnel vision

I wake up with a heavy heart

But shrug it off with precision

Because I’m under the impression

That I’m not the only one waiting

She looks for me as I look for her

Meaning there’s not point hesitating

And I’ll find her one-day

And be taken by storm

We’ll ride together on tidal waves

The fiercest love, in purest form