Not Being Me

I want to start by apologizing

For all of my wrong doings

And I want to say I’m sorry

And I hope that you’ll forgive me

I can’t keep complaining about these things

And I can’t keep talking about nothing

And I want to say that I’m waiting

For the moment when I’m done singing

Like a broken record, or a track on loop

I just keep chugging out the same bullshit

I’m just using it as a way to cope

And I’m finally ready to up and quit

Most of this won’t make sense

And most of this will fall on deaf ears

And confusion seems to sleep best

When it’s been overwhelming for years

I want to continue to apologize

For all of my lackluster words

And I want to say I’m sorry

For trying to write down things I’ve only heard

I can’t keep complaining about these things

I’ve never felt the way I often describe

I simply revel in the way I’m sinking

And my views on love are a diatribe

Like a broken record, going round and round

I just want to be done with this bullshit

I’m done using this as a means to an end

And I think now it’s time to start dealing with it

So I’m off for a while, until I can honestly narrate

What love is truly meant to be

And I’m sorry if this one doesn’t suit you

But I’ve lost what it was to be me…