Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Photographs Again
Thursday, December 23, 2010
WhatsHerName
We do these things
Not because they’re easy but because they’re hard
But since when is it easy
To leave each other broken and scarred?
As I continue to search
For what’s-her-name?
I look on at those around
Already enjoying the game
The paper money falls
And our boxes start to wear
I’ve passed go countless times
But still no one is there
I watch as they come together
And then close in upon me
I watch as they fade into
A lime-lit obscurity
But I don’t appear to them
Though I’m not quite nothing
And since when did noticing
Mean you had to say something?
The 3rd wheel’s getting no grease
But I’m not antsy for attention
And if I didn’t think it would kill you
I’d ask for an honorable mention
Now there’s an internal conversation
That’s bred from an internal conflict
Now there’s an external situation
That’s making me feel sick
Dry heaves left me questioning
Is it me? Or is it everyone else?
Can I go ahead and blame the world?
Or have I just done this to myself?
Out of the cold grows a weed
And it bears resentment from it’s stem
So I’m not going to ignore it,
But I just might ignore all of them
And I have all the time in the world
To sit, hear, and wait
While you figure out what’s wrong with me
Before it gets late
But if it isn’t obvious yet
Then it’s something you’ll never get
Hello what’s-your-name,
I don’t believe we’ve met…
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Change of Heart
It was just another day in a colder climate
As I found myself once again questioning my fate
I kept going over and over what I said and what they said
When I saw myself standing outside my own head
So I walked in and saw myself waiting for me
And all I said to myself was “Is this really how you want it to be?”
It was just another day surrounded by snow too deep
When I called upon her to soothe me back to sleep
I keep going over what it is they say and do
And wonder if I’ll ever stop wondering, “Where are you?”
You gave light to a page that I had yet to see
And all I said to myself was “Is this really how you want it to be?”
It was just another day near lukewarm hearts
As I found myself hating how they all got their starts
I wanted nothing more than to have one that did smolder
And I might tell you one day when you’re older
Just tell me as soon as you see what I see
And until then I’ll keep asking myself “Is this really how you want it to be?”
Dedicated to a feeling that’s no really there
Dedicated to finding a start
Dedicated to the only one who seems to care
Dedicated to a heartening hart
It was just another day in which I wrote another tale
I stood by the same old product and tried to make a sale
I kept repeating what they all thought needed to be said
And then I saw you standing beautifully inside my head
So I ran in and saw myself suddenly set free
As you explained that these words aren’t for them, but just for me…
Monday, December 13, 2010
Out of Ink
Trying to figure out what I was thinking in the first place
I wait for another wanderer to call
My thoughts wander, and boredom creeps in
As I think anything would be better than staring at these 4 walls
Listlessly these words appear as if to taunt me
But only when I’m not standing still
The moment I stop and try to write it all down
Is the moment my creativity is suddenly killed
So I babble, I ramble, but most of all I rant
I wait, I long, I continue to hope it won’t last
It’d be nice if this could mean something, but it can’t
And soon these thoughts today will become part of the past
I’m afraid you’ve heard it all before
You’ve listened to my voice as I played this game
My heartbreak, my angst, and everything in between
You may not have know what it meant, but you kept reading all the same
So without any further ado, a hiatus is in order
The writing will disappear from the eyes of the reader
I’ll discontinue my thoughts, take a break perhaps
And return when the muse in my life is sweeter
A thank you to you all, the few that saw my many
A thank you to all of those who continue to look up
The view from up here is no longer that clear
And with that I will say enough…
Half Asleep, Half Alone
I’m wide-awake and presently speeding
Catch me if you can, it’s what I’m needing
A turn for the worst, without any evidence
I guess this wait just adds to the suspense
I’m wide-awake and presently seeing
That the thought of you is so freeing
But you’re restricted by the powers that be
And I won’t say anything, because I’m me
I’m dozing a bit, but I won’t quit
Not until I can no longer get away with it
I’m wide-awake as sparks abound
I look around, but no one is found
In a matter of days it will all be gone
In a matter of time I might be done
I’m wide-awake, but nobody thinks so
They all keep telling me that I should go
Go here; go there, I don’t think they really care
Just so long as I’m not one more they have to bear
I’m dozing a bit, but I can’t quit
Not until I can no longer get away with it
I’m wide-awake and spewing out nonsense
And I’ll continue at no expense
Seriously stop me or I’ll end up dead
Seriously, find me, or I’ll go out of my head
I’m wide-awake and yet my eyes are closed
They have been for sometime, leaving me exposed
I don’t want to continue without you
Wake me up!! So that I don’t have to
I’m dozing a bit but I can’t quit
Not until I can no longer get away with it
Half asleep; half awake; in an inescapable pit
Longing for your heart to pull me out of it
Friday, December 10, 2010
The End
Cool and collected, he walks on unprotected
With each step he takes, another fire wakes
He looks to his right, as the missiles take flight
He looks to his left, but there’s nothing left
He lights up a smoke and takes in this cruel joke
With wreckage around, there are few to be found
Amidst the commotion, he walks in slow motion
He looks to his left, but there’s nothing left
He enters her sight, as day turns to night
And he walks along, just trying to stay strong
The buildings are falling, she trapped and she’s calling
He looks to his left, but there’s nothing left
For help she yells, as the ash clouds swell
The sky’s raining fire, as he loses desire
The world’s coming to a close, and this he knows
He looks to his left, but there’s nothing left
He ought to be dead, but still there’re thoughts in his head
Wandering aimlessly, he awaits the end patiently
There’s nothing he can say, it’s all fading away
He looks to his left, but there’s nothing left
It’s then that he sees her, in a state of great danger
As he hurries to her support, she offers a retort
“Save yourself. Get free. Don’t worry about me.”
He looks to his left, but there’s nothing left
As the world decays, he kneels beside her and stays
He looks to his right, but there’s nothing in sight
He looks to his left, but there’s nothing left
They lock eyes; they kiss. Nothing left but apoca-lips.
Thursday, December 09, 2010
Stark Raving
I wanted to do this last night, but that was yesterday
And if I had said it then, you wouldn’t have liked what I had to say
Now you tell me to spit it out, that I must be in a stupid funk
But I’ll stop being so daft, if you stop being a f—ing punk
It’s time you looked around and gave your life a start
Instead of acting like you’re different by playing a different part
You’re not out of your element, but I wish you were out of mine
And if you could just shut your f—ing mouth, I think we’d be fine
But you have to twist the knife; you have to go that extra mile
And I’d be okay with all of it, if you didn’t wear that damn smile
So keep listening to my radio while I tune you out of my head
I’m not passing out; I’d just rather go to bed
It’s a matter of respect, which you clearly don’t seem to have for me
And when I look at you, I can’t understand what he sees
There’s definitely something there though, but that’s not for me to say
I won’t comment on what ought to be, but on how you ought to go away
Seriously, you irritate me, and the sad part is you think it’s comical
But don’t worry about alienating one; you’ve still got them all
So I’ll slink off like a mau5, because I’m as tired as the dead
But the truth is I’m avoiding you, because of what you said
Prepare to be immortalized, in a stanza that no one will see
Least of all you, but that’s all right with me
I won’t listen to your jaunts; I will no longer be affected
It’s not my fault that those mushrooms got your personality infected
You can talk to the rest of them; you can eat, drink, and be merry
But you won’t hear a word from me; this conversation I cannot carry
I, (insert name here), swear to be of sound body and mind
No drop of intoxication in my present self will you find
And I (name above), hold to all I’ve said above
And I (name above), will leave you, with no loss of love
________________________Printed Name
________________________Signature
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
The Hopeless Romantic (Part 1)
He sits in his room to contemplate doom
But starts to disjoint as he misses the point
His utter dismay keeps him feeling this way
But he hopes it won’t last as he dwells on his past
A kiss on the cheek would make him go weak
But what he doesn’t sow will never grow
His bulletproof defense keeps them in suspense
But it will dissolve as he loses resolve
She walks his way and he knows just what to say
But preconceived lies will never draw her eyes
She walks closer still; he briefly loses his will
But what he perceives could never willingly leave
Once again able he tells her “You’re beautiful.”
But it can only be said if it leaves his head
He remains pliant as she passes him, silent
Because he knows one day he’ll find a way
He searches the sky and asks himself why
But gazing at stars won’t heal his scars
He searches the sea for what he longs to be
But staring at waves won’t give him what he craves
A hand on his heart would give him a start
But he’ll never acquire what he doesn’t truly desire
With a reworked offense he keeps them in suspense
And he’ll be right back with a new plan of attack
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Spare Change
Here I am amongst the lines and lives
Heading towards the wheels and gears
Trying to avoid looks like knives
Trying to put a deaf ear to all their fears
Here he comes with a slumped and beaten stance
Defeated by the wind and the cold
He puts out his hand and asks for a chance
But I’ve already heard what I’m going to be told
Where’s my kindness? And what have I done?
But I can’t help but think I won’t be the only one
Survival of the fittest has taken a turn for the worst
And I’m trapped, thinking: “What do I say first?”
Here I am amongst the leather and glass
Heading back to a comfortable life I’ve built
I question the lives of all those I pass
I question when I’ll escape this guilt
There he is now amidst a world that has won
He walks along toward more hidden faces
I know for a fact he’s not the only one
I know he’s not the only one the cold still embraces
Where’s my love? And what have I done?
But I fight the guilt by convincing myself I’m not the only one
Survival of the fittest has turned a bit too extreme
And I’m left thinking: “Is it all just a bad dream?”
Here I am amongst the chilled winter’s air
Heading towards the cotton and wool
Trying to pretend that I don’t care
Hoping one day that he’ll be full
Where he is now I don’t think I can say
Maybe still waiting to be treated kindly
All I can do is hope and pray
That somebody else won’t act as blindly
Where’s my heart? And what have I done?
We can’t help everybody, but what about one?
Survival of the fittest has gone and ruined us all
And so I pray to God that He’ll pick me up if ever I fall
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Losing My Mind
I wish I could escape what was left behind
I wish I could just lose my mind
Pull it out of my head and say goodbye
As it stays put while I walk by
Adopt ignorance and embrace the bliss
And run, carefree, away from all this
I’d leave it there for all the world to see
Just how much it didn’t mean to me
People would pass by it and casually stare
But I wonder if they’d even care
Care about a mind that was left behind
Alone for someone else to find
And all the while they’d wonder whose it was
And if it was abandoned for just cause
I’d leave it there for all the world to see
Just how much it didn’t mean to me
And as time would pass in my world of bliss
I’d never remember my mind or ever miss
I’d float and believe that I was free
In a world where they couldn’t bother me
Call me ignorant for being devil may care
But you didn’t know it; you weren’t there
I know why I decided to leave it behind
I know why I decided to lose my mind
I might come back after years have passed
And see all the dust my mind has amassed
I’d contemplate about picking it up
I’d get halfway and then have to stop
Torn between memory and senility
I’d hesitate about what I’d want to be
Should I return to the thoughts I left behind?
Or revel in the fact that I’ve lost my mind?
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Impact
I woke up this morning with a sound in my ear
But I know your voice isn’t what I want to hear
I woke up to a strange paranoia within
And I just didn’t know exactly how to begin
I woke up this morning with no intention of continuing
But no good end can come without a damn good beginning
I know that this morning there’ll be dreams I can’t keep
And there’s a fear in me that runs quite deep
I know that disorder is all the rage this year
But I can’t sleep while you’re still here
I know that this morning I’ll look back while moving forward
But that doesn’t mean that my mind isn’t altered
There’s a chance that everything I continue to see
Doesn’t really have an impact on me
There’s a way to wake up, but not in my case
As you just won’t seem to leave this place
There’s a chance I could tell you how this story will end
But I’m worried this is an issue that even time can’t mend
You’re standing there trying to veil your disgust
While your outward appearance strangely resembles lust
You’re fishing for what you just won’t catch
While I’m trying to find another flame within this match
You’re standing there waiting for me to speak
But we won’t find what we have no motivation to seek
I woke up this morning in a daze that won’t pass
But I’m going back to bed because this won’t last
I woke up to each and every voice in my head
All shouting in unison how they wanted me dead
I woke up this morning with no intention of continuing
But no good end can come without a damn good beginning
There’s a feeling today that escapes even the best
And you reach for it like all of the rest
There’s a answer tomorrow that will explain today
But instead of opening your eyes to see it’ll just fade away
There’s a feeling that stays hushed for fear of disrupting
But staying quiet won’t create something out of nothing
Why must getting it started be the hardest part?
As each beat questions another passing heart
Why must maintaining it be the hardest part?
As each beat questions the current heart
Why must leaving it be the hardest part?
As we beg the question “How did this start?”
You’re waiting for something that might never come
We know you’re not deaf, but that doesn't mean you're not dumb
You’re eyeing a day that you hope will take you away
And I can’t help but notice you haven’t even finished today
You’re implying that what you have will one day be better
But wishful thinking won’t make an always out of a never
I woke up this morning and then went straight back to bed
I know full well that I can’t keep living inside my head
I woke up this morning but never really did wake
I don’t need to be reminded of all my past mistakes
I woke up this morning with no intention of continuing
But no good end can come without a damn good beginning