Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Photographs Again


Photographs of those attached
And you say one day you’ll know
A heart devoid of a suitable match
And that’s just the way things go

I look on with quiet regret
At the faces that could have been
An effort on my part was needed
But then again, that was then

An anger that passes in an instant
And he stands in a solemn confusion
He pleads with life for understanding
As it hides how it will use him

A brother in the doorway
Unable to say what needs to be said
No tears, as this one’s empty
Is this really where we’ve been led?

As liquid takes the body
And smoke absorbs the mind
He looks to me for an answer
But nothing here, will he find

Photographs of those attached
And they say love knows no bounds
So why is it he sits still
Unable to be found?

They look on with a silent pity
They don’t say it but I know
Seemingly, my only better half
Following me wherever I go

An anger that’s ultimately useless
At this half that doesn’t exist
An anger that remains, regardless
So what exactly did I miss?

A brother in the open
With a heart not afraid to hide
If only it were useful
But it remains locked inside

A solid place to place my feet
And a soft one to lay my head
A heart to share my heart’s weight
But none of this should have to be said

Photographs of those attached
And I say one day I’ll know
But the words have lost their meaning now
And I pray that’s not just the way things go…

Thursday, December 23, 2010

WhatsHerName

We do these things

Not because they’re easy but because they’re hard

But since when is it easy

To leave each other broken and scarred?

As I continue to search

For what’s-her-name?

I look on at those around

Already enjoying the game

The paper money falls

And our boxes start to wear

I’ve passed go countless times

But still no one is there

I watch as they come together

And then close in upon me

I watch as they fade into

A lime-lit obscurity

But I don’t appear to them

Though I’m not quite nothing

And since when did noticing

Mean you had to say something?

The 3rd wheel’s getting no grease

But I’m not antsy for attention

And if I didn’t think it would kill you

I’d ask for an honorable mention

Now there’s an internal conversation

That’s bred from an internal conflict

Now there’s an external situation

That’s making me feel sick

Dry heaves left me questioning

Is it me? Or is it everyone else?

Can I go ahead and blame the world?

Or have I just done this to myself?

Out of the cold grows a weed

And it bears resentment from it’s stem

So I’m not going to ignore it,

But I just might ignore all of them

And I have all the time in the world

To sit, hear, and wait

While you figure out what’s wrong with me

Before it gets late

But if it isn’t obvious yet

Then it’s something you’ll never get
Hello what’s-your-name,

I don’t believe we’ve met…

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Change of Heart

It was just another day in a colder climate

As I found myself once again questioning my fate

I kept going over and over what I said and what they said

When I saw myself standing outside my own head

So I walked in and saw myself waiting for me

And all I said to myself was “Is this really how you want it to be?”


It was just another day surrounded by snow too deep

When I called upon her to soothe me back to sleep

I keep going over what it is they say and do

And wonder if I’ll ever stop wondering, “Where are you?”

You gave light to a page that I had yet to see

And all I said to myself was “Is this really how you want it to be?”


It was just another day near lukewarm hearts

As I found myself hating how they all got their starts

I wanted nothing more than to have one that did smolder

And I might tell you one day when you’re older

Just tell me as soon as you see what I see

And until then I’ll keep asking myself “Is this really how you want it to be?”


Dedicated to a feeling that’s no really there

Dedicated to finding a start

Dedicated to the only one who seems to care

Dedicated to a heartening hart


It was just another day in which I wrote another tale

I stood by the same old product and tried to make a sale

I kept repeating what they all thought needed to be said

And then I saw you standing beautifully inside my head

So I ran in and saw myself suddenly set free

As you explained that these words aren’t for them, but just for me…

Monday, December 13, 2010

Out of Ink

Trying to figure out what I was thinking in the first place

I wait for another wanderer to call

My thoughts wander, and boredom creeps in

As I think anything would be better than staring at these 4 walls


Listlessly these words appear as if to taunt me

But only when I’m not standing still

The moment I stop and try to write it all down

Is the moment my creativity is suddenly killed


So I babble, I ramble, but most of all I rant

I wait, I long, I continue to hope it won’t last

It’d be nice if this could mean something, but it can’t

And soon these thoughts today will become part of the past


I’m afraid you’ve heard it all before

You’ve listened to my voice as I played this game

My heartbreak, my angst, and everything in between

You may not have know what it meant, but you kept reading all the same


So without any further ado, a hiatus is in order

The writing will disappear from the eyes of the reader

I’ll discontinue my thoughts, take a break perhaps

And return when the muse in my life is sweeter


A thank you to you all, the few that saw my many

A thank you to all of those who continue to look up

The view from up here is no longer that clear

And with that I will say enough…

Half Asleep, Half Alone

I’m wide-awake and presently speeding

Catch me if you can, it’s what I’m needing

A turn for the worst, without any evidence

I guess this wait just adds to the suspense


I’m wide-awake and presently seeing

That the thought of you is so freeing

But you’re restricted by the powers that be

And I won’t say anything, because I’m me


I’m dozing a bit, but I won’t quit

Not until I can no longer get away with it


I’m wide-awake as sparks abound

I look around, but no one is found

In a matter of days it will all be gone

In a matter of time I might be done


I’m wide-awake, but nobody thinks so

They all keep telling me that I should go

Go here; go there, I don’t think they really care

Just so long as I’m not one more they have to bear


I’m dozing a bit, but I can’t quit

Not until I can no longer get away with it


I’m wide-awake and spewing out nonsense

And I’ll continue at no expense

Seriously stop me or I’ll end up dead

Seriously, find me, or I’ll go out of my head


I’m wide-awake and yet my eyes are closed

They have been for sometime, leaving me exposed

I don’t want to continue without you

Wake me up!! So that I don’t have to


I’m dozing a bit but I can’t quit

Not until I can no longer get away with it

Half asleep; half awake; in an inescapable pit

Longing for your heart to pull me out of it

Friday, December 10, 2010

The End

Cool and collected, he walks on unprotected

With each step he takes, another fire wakes

He looks to his right, as the missiles take flight

He looks to his left, but there’s nothing left


He lights up a smoke and takes in this cruel joke

With wreckage around, there are few to be found

Amidst the commotion, he walks in slow motion

He looks to his left, but there’s nothing left


He enters her sight, as day turns to night

And he walks along, just trying to stay strong

The buildings are falling, she trapped and she’s calling

He looks to his left, but there’s nothing left


For help she yells, as the ash clouds swell

The sky’s raining fire, as he loses desire

The world’s coming to a close, and this he knows

He looks to his left, but there’s nothing left


He ought to be dead, but still there’re thoughts in his head

Wandering aimlessly, he awaits the end patiently

There’s nothing he can say, it’s all fading away

He looks to his left, but there’s nothing left


It’s then that he sees her, in a state of great danger

As he hurries to her support, she offers a retort

“Save yourself. Get free. Don’t worry about me.”

He looks to his left, but there’s nothing left


As the world decays, he kneels beside her and stays

He looks to his right, but there’s nothing in sight

He looks to his left, but there’s nothing left

They lock eyes; they kiss. Nothing left but apoca-lips.

Thursday, December 09, 2010

Stark Raving

I wanted to do this last night, but that was yesterday

And if I had said it then, you wouldn’t have liked what I had to say

Now you tell me to spit it out, that I must be in a stupid funk

But I’ll stop being so daft, if you stop being a f—ing punk

It’s time you looked around and gave your life a start

Instead of acting like you’re different by playing a different part

You’re not out of your element, but I wish you were out of mine

And if you could just shut your f—ing mouth, I think we’d be fine

But you have to twist the knife; you have to go that extra mile

And I’d be okay with all of it, if you didn’t wear that damn smile

So keep listening to my radio while I tune you out of my head

I’m not passing out; I’d just rather go to bed

It’s a matter of respect, which you clearly don’t seem to have for me

And when I look at you, I can’t understand what he sees

There’s definitely something there though, but that’s not for me to say

I won’t comment on what ought to be, but on how you ought to go away

Seriously, you irritate me, and the sad part is you think it’s comical

But don’t worry about alienating one; you’ve still got them all

So I’ll slink off like a mau5, because I’m as tired as the dead

But the truth is I’m avoiding you, because of what you said

Prepare to be immortalized, in a stanza that no one will see

Least of all you, but that’s all right with me

I won’t listen to your jaunts; I will no longer be affected

It’s not my fault that those mushrooms got your personality infected

You can talk to the rest of them; you can eat, drink, and be merry

But you won’t hear a word from me; this conversation I cannot carry

I, (insert name here), swear to be of sound body and mind

No drop of intoxication in my present self will you find

And I (name above), hold to all I’ve said above

And I (name above), will leave you, with no loss of love


________________________Printed Name


________________________Signature

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

The Hopeless Romantic (Part 1)

He sits in his room to contemplate doom

But starts to disjoint as he misses the point

His utter dismay keeps him feeling this way

But he hopes it won’t last as he dwells on his past


A kiss on the cheek would make him go weak

But what he doesn’t sow will never grow

His bulletproof defense keeps them in suspense

But it will dissolve as he loses resolve


She walks his way and he knows just what to say

But preconceived lies will never draw her eyes

She walks closer still; he briefly loses his will

But what he perceives could never willingly leave


Once again able he tells her “You’re beautiful.”

But it can only be said if it leaves his head

He remains pliant as she passes him, silent

Because he knows one day he’ll find a way


He searches the sky and asks himself why

But gazing at stars won’t heal his scars

He searches the sea for what he longs to be

But staring at waves won’t give him what he craves


A hand on his heart would give him a start

But he’ll never acquire what he doesn’t truly desire

With a reworked offense he keeps them in suspense

And he’ll be right back with a new plan of attack

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Spare Change

Here I am amongst the lines and lives

Heading towards the wheels and gears

Trying to avoid looks like knives

Trying to put a deaf ear to all their fears


Here he comes with a slumped and beaten stance

Defeated by the wind and the cold

He puts out his hand and asks for a chance

But I’ve already heard what I’m going to be told


Where’s my kindness? And what have I done?

But I can’t help but think I won’t be the only one

Survival of the fittest has taken a turn for the worst

And I’m trapped, thinking: “What do I say first?”


Here I am amongst the leather and glass

Heading back to a comfortable life I’ve built

I question the lives of all those I pass

I question when I’ll escape this guilt


There he is now amidst a world that has won

He walks along toward more hidden faces

I know for a fact he’s not the only one

I know he’s not the only one the cold still embraces


Where’s my love? And what have I done?

But I fight the guilt by convincing myself I’m not the only one

Survival of the fittest has turned a bit too extreme

And I’m left thinking: “Is it all just a bad dream?”


Here I am amongst the chilled winter’s air

Heading towards the cotton and wool

Trying to pretend that I don’t care

Hoping one day that he’ll be full


Where he is now I don’t think I can say

Maybe still waiting to be treated kindly

All I can do is hope and pray

That somebody else won’t act as blindly


Where’s my heart? And what have I done?

We can’t help everybody, but what about one?

Survival of the fittest has gone and ruined us all

And so I pray to God that He’ll pick me up if ever I fall

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Losing My Mind

I wish I could escape what was left behind

I wish I could just lose my mind

Pull it out of my head and say goodbye

As it stays put while I walk by

Adopt ignorance and embrace the bliss

And run, carefree, away from all this

I’d leave it there for all the world to see

Just how much it didn’t mean to me


People would pass by it and casually stare

But I wonder if they’d even care

Care about a mind that was left behind

Alone for someone else to find

And all the while they’d wonder whose it was

And if it was abandoned for just cause

I’d leave it there for all the world to see

Just how much it didn’t mean to me


And as time would pass in my world of bliss

I’d never remember my mind or ever miss

I’d float and believe that I was free

In a world where they couldn’t bother me

Call me ignorant for being devil may care

But you didn’t know it; you weren’t there

I know why I decided to leave it behind

I know why I decided to lose my mind


I might come back after years have passed

And see all the dust my mind has amassed

I’d contemplate about picking it up

I’d get halfway and then have to stop

Torn between memory and senility

I’d hesitate about what I’d want to be

Should I return to the thoughts I left behind?

Or revel in the fact that I’ve lost my mind?

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Impact

I woke up this morning with a sound in my ear

But I know your voice isn’t what I want to hear

I woke up to a strange paranoia within

And I just didn’t know exactly how to begin

I woke up this morning with no intention of continuing

But no good end can come without a damn good beginning


I know that this morning there’ll be dreams I can’t keep

And there’s a fear in me that runs quite deep

I know that disorder is all the rage this year

But I can’t sleep while you’re still here

I know that this morning I’ll look back while moving forward

But that doesn’t mean that my mind isn’t altered


There’s a chance that everything I continue to see

Doesn’t really have an impact on me

There’s a way to wake up, but not in my case

As you just won’t seem to leave this place

There’s a chance I could tell you how this story will end

But I’m worried this is an issue that even time can’t mend


You’re standing there trying to veil your disgust

While your outward appearance strangely resembles lust

You’re fishing for what you just won’t catch

While I’m trying to find another flame within this match

You’re standing there waiting for me to speak

But we won’t find what we have no motivation to seek


I woke up this morning in a daze that won’t pass

But I’m going back to bed because this won’t last

I woke up to each and every voice in my head

All shouting in unison how they wanted me dead

I woke up this morning with no intention of continuing

But no good end can come without a damn good beginning


There’s a feeling today that escapes even the best

And you reach for it like all of the rest

There’s a answer tomorrow that will explain today

But instead of opening your eyes to see it’ll just fade away

There’s a feeling that stays hushed for fear of disrupting

But staying quiet won’t create something out of nothing


Why must getting it started be the hardest part?

As each beat questions another passing heart

Why must maintaining it be the hardest part?

As each beat questions the current heart

Why must leaving it be the hardest part?

As we beg the question “How did this start?”


You’re waiting for something that might never come

We know you’re not deaf, but that doesn't mean you're not dumb

You’re eyeing a day that you hope will take you away

And I can’t help but notice you haven’t even finished today

You’re implying that what you have will one day be better

But wishful thinking won’t make an always out of a never


I woke up this morning and then went straight back to bed

I know full well that I can’t keep living inside my head

I woke up this morning but never really did wake

I don’t need to be reminded of all my past mistakes

I woke up this morning with no intention of continuing

But no good end can come without a damn good beginning